He’ll dismiss Poppa as an Anachronism

The arid Pristine shall rise anew The good news is the fish will be larger, more colorful, and more numerous – the bad news is your trout and salmon days are theoretically numbered.

The scientists studied populations of young salmon and trout in the River Wye in Wales, traditionally one of the UK’s best angling rivers. Professor Steve Ormerod and colleagues from the Cardiff School of Biosciences found salmon numbers fell by 50% and trout numbers by 67% between 1985 and 2004 – even though the river itself became cleaner.

The fish were hit hardest following hot, dry summers such as 1990, 2000 and 2003. The results suggest that warmer water and lower river levels combine to affect both species. As both trout and salmon favour cool water, they face potentially major problems if climate warming continues as expected in the next two to three decades.

– via Science Daily

But you’ve plenty of time to act. When your kiddies curl their lower lip at that steaming salmon fillet Ma has cooked perfectly, rather than launch the all-too-familiar argument about how you was glad to get bread and milk after working all day threshing wheat – now you can opt for the low and away pitch …

You ungrateful little Snot, there won’t be any on your kids table – your Nintendo warmed the Earth’s crust – and they up and died …”

… and when he recovers from shock and snarls a sullen and defiant, “So..” – then you can hit him.

Al Gore says it’s okay.

Warmer water will bring all new aquatic foliage, new bugs – and we’ll pout and pound our chests over invasives, banning everything from garbage bags to bare feet, never seeing the larger picture – that of an entire ecosystem under evolution.

Carp and suckers will frolic in what remains of the heavy forest, they’ll be bigger and meaner and much tougher to catch, but all the pansies will have stopped buying their fishing license by then – and the Arid Pristine will rise anew.

… and one day your child now mature, will call his Poppa to invite him fishing and wonder why the fat old bastard hung up in a huff. It’ll give him but a moment’s pause – as he jumps into the car for the pre-dawn exodus, knowing they’ve rotenoned the entire Upper Sacramento and replanted the native Koi.

Tags: Climate change, wader ban, carp, rough fish, fly fishing, ecosystem evolution, Al Gore, trout, salmon