Skinny guys are all about scrambling over rocks, falling in, impatiently changing fly patterns, dawdling with waitresses and all the errata that accompanies fishing, and while they make a lot of noise, rarely catch much …
Fat guys use the same laws of Nature as fish; the calories expended for the next meal cannot exceed the calories contained therein, hence they grow old, bigger, and wiser.
Scientists are suggesting that the talent pool includes the shy and introverted, who may be every bit as talented as their rotund brethren, but as they’re reserved and quiet – we rarely hear their feats of prowess.
Shy types quietly fold their gear and get to bed early.
The sensitivity trait is found in over 100 other species, from fruit flies and fish to canines and primates, indicating this personality type could sometimes provide an evolutionary advantage.
Fat guys lack the desire to roam much so they patiently spend the day catching the six fish in their hole. Each fish a separate riddle to be savored and unraveled. Meanwhile their skinny counterparts throws sloppy casts, slip off rocks, grow impatient, and while they might cover three times as many fish, they’ll make twice the commotion and scare most of them witless.
… and sensitive types think their way up the creek, and are the beneficiaries of all them spooked fish.
The sensitive individual’s strategy is not so advantageous when resources are plentiful or quick, aggressive action is required.
Outspoken gregarious anglers burn daylight posturing for the waitress, holding court in the parking lot, usually at the expense of someone else’s beer, while the quiet fellows suit up early – ignore the noisy pantomime in the parking lot and are likely on their fourth or fifth fish.
But it comes in handy when danger is present, opportunities are similar and hard to choose between, or a clever approach is needed.
Which is why the hale-fellow-well-met spends the weekend groaning on the motel bed. The shapely lass encountered sunbathing bankside being the bride of the Raider’s 3rd round draft pick, and after bouncing off a couple of trees and watching his borrowed rod splintered into kindling, Mr. Extrovert may have lost interest in fishing – which’ll last as long as he’s prone, in the fetal position, and holding his nuts.
Assuming the theory sound, the best guides will be both fat and shy. As the outfitter lines up available talent, we’ll be looking for the concave fellow who doesn’t meet our gaze, whose handshake is reluctant and damp, and whose streamside patter and fly selection is done solely via Blackberry.
Tags: shy anglers, Oakland Raiders, Blackberry, extrovert angler, fat guy fly fishing, science
Hmmm…So where does the quiet, skinny angler fit in? You know, the one who has no time for dalliance with waitresses since he is in a hurry to go and scramble over rocks in an effort to avoid the rest of the world. This is the fella who will happily navigate five miles of mountain freestone and seven miles of steep ass trail, because he knows that by mid afternoon the mahogany duns will be coming off and hordes of eager cutthroat will be lining up on the seams and in the tail outs. Returning to his truck, heart-full and foot-sore, and having left large numbers of trout with sore jaws and a new found wisdom, our angler finds a fat guy happily catching his six fish in the bridge pool. When asked how he did, he shyly mumbles: “got a few on small parachutes…”
That neatly describes the guy I found on the trail with the broken leg. Since the fat guy failed to reproduce before his untimely artery clench – it may be a wash.
So long as that skinny fellow isn’t all serious he’s welcome at my fire anytime.
Well, I have yet to actually break anything out there…though last summer I tore my leg open jumping over a deadfall. In any event you have an open invitation to Idaho this summer and you can judge for yourself the level of seriousness. You’ll have to bring your own beer.