Six weeks of rehab isn’t changing anything, it’s just celebrity traffic school for first offenders. Like the Phoenix, recently emerged and armed with the verve of the righteous, we’re supposed to wear our addictions like the Albatross, around the neck.

Proof positive that we’ve licked the Beast, or at least that’s what our press agent claims…

They missed all the really compelling addictions, certainly all those related to fishing and the outdoors – and not even a 24K clumsily rolled roach in honor of Tom Stienstra.

For fly tiers it would have to be Sterling silver hackle pliers. The bulk of our milk and egg money was pizzled away on exotic chickens while the kids went hungry. In the wrong company they could pass as a roach clip – that way you don’t have to reveal your obsession to them as are uninterested in anything other than your hoarding of the Tofu-Watermelon sandwiches.

The rest of us could wear a fragment of the $800 rod we sat on, perhaps with the label foremost – or at least a guide wrap visible so we could give each other the nod, and cluck our tongues in commiseration.

… and it would be a great way to part with that odd extra spool from a reel long past its prime. Put an hour and minute hand on it and claim how you and Flava Flav invented wrap music.

Yeah Boy!

Tags: wearable addiction, hardy spool, Flava Flav, rap, hackle pliers, Tom Stienstra, Cast of vices