Her icy gaze punctuated by the bony digit pointed in my direction …
Naturally, I tried the First Law of Backpedalling, innocence.
“ … What?”
I gazed around studiously avoiding That Which She Held, but I guess my look of innocence wasn’t quite up to par – or I’d gone to that well too many times …
I was Flat Busted.
I had counted on her being dazed by the glitzy neon of the Las Vegas strip. A whirlwind of shows, drinking, and pulling handles – and the ensuing hangover would buy me enough time to replace the sink strainer.
Umm, No.
Instead I’m in my kitchen looking “hang dog” while the Gestapo asks me to collaborate.
… and I’ve warned you often enough. Make sure you clean all evidence of dye from the important fixtures and linoleum – so you aren’t pinched in your first attempt.
Me, thinking I was a Ninja Master was part of my undoing. The rest was the horrifying discovery that sink strainers contain Polyester.
… there’s no label on the damn things, how was I to know?
The Olive and Peacock blends strained fine. The Grannom Green didn’t leave a mark, imagine my surprise when the Scarlet (which looks very Orange) left a calling card.
Our modern everyday sink strainer appears to have about 10% polyester – just enough to revoke my parole, and land me in the crosshairs yet again.
I’ve mentioned the destroyed feathers, hinted at the strain in relationships, insisted that you’d be a Past Master within minutes – and even tried the Manhood angle.
But you fellows were smarter than I was, and while I’m watching the next nine sappy romantic comedies with one star or less, understand that dinner works – but hell hath no fury like a woman wanting popcorn.
… and I’ll be fishing quite a few Angelina equipped flies this year hoping to get the taste out of my mouth.
Tags: dyeing polyester, soft crimp Angelina, grannom green, fly tying materials, peacock, damsel olive, sink strainer, Las Vegas, flat busted
That is hilarious and yet I’m so sorry.
Whilst cleaning up our take-out last night, my wife discovered, in her food packaging, what was ostensibly a “prepared” partridge feather, clipped nicely and ready to add as legs to a copper john – the only problem: fly tying equipment and materials were nowhere to be seen – hadn’t been out in a week.
just take your lumps and move on.
Ray,
I’m not buying it. You’re the guy in line ahead of me with his jacket pulled up to obscure his face. The both of us will be watching the next eight Sandra Bullock – Meg Ryan romantic comedies hoping our pals don’t drive by and spy us in the queue.
Hmmm, I’d put that baby on ebay and watch the Hollywood bidding war. It would likely pay for the videos and popcorn.
…the next eight Sandra Bullock – Meg Ryan romantic comedies. OUCH!
Brutal, to me that seems excessive and must exceed the maximum punishment allowed for it is cruel and unusual at the very least.
I doubt I could survive such an ordeal without serious and permanent damage. You guys must be much stronger men than I.
Good luck with that.
I was let off the hook surprisingly easily…
Making new colors of the Angelina Fibers? Seems I haven’t tied a fly without some of that stuff in it lately.
It appears there’s a lot more to dyeing polyester than meets the eye. I’m acquiring some practical experience in the vendor’s dyes while destroying quite a bit of Angelina.
With only 13 colors available, I have to build all the colors missing using the 13, that takes some time to figure out.
Gestapo, phooey! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Never forget that cleanliness is next to godliness. Huh? We fish, don’t we?
Thank you, and good night.
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Very funny! As an avid dyer myself, the first time I used dye, I did it in the bathroom sink, thinking it would be easier to clean up. It took four years for the stains to fade. D’oh!
That should be an easy fix. Just soak it in Clorox. Worked for me last time I inked a poly liner.
look what I missed while on vacation. single barbed busted by the missus and a nefarious glue incident in the same week?
I need me some of that contraband booty.
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