The ringtone belonged to “Deep Walnut”, the Yolo county landowner I’d turned to the side of righteousness. The pleasantries were brief, and I was informed that the annual “crop report” outlining the sins of watery tomatoes had been secreted on the grounds of my residence.

Sure it’s a touch over the top, but in a smallish town when it’s raining – what else is there to do.

Actually “Deep Walnut” is a double agent – as the document merely outlines the crap I waded through last season, and how far over the state approved environmental standards the pollutants have climbed.

I figure his handlers are slapping each other heartily knowing no sane person would wade through known carcinogens and medical waste – but sanity has never been a strong suit, so I just hand the list to the physician while he readies an armada of large gauge needles with which to violate my posterior.

… and yes, this report was an eye opener. Outlining enough naturally occurring Boron that I’d consider wedging a mandrel in the substrate just to see if I’d have a functioning six weight after a sustained downpour.

… a steady rise in the salinity of the water, as well as a pH of 9.0 – both exceeding state guidelines. It’s a comfort that with all the decline in quality waters that I’ve got a chalkstream being deposited on my doorstep, which should recoup last year’s 50% decline in home value.

Unfortunately most of the wells near my house have been closed due to nitrate contamination. Both Woodland and Davis get much of their drinking water from groundwater, and at least four (those near my house) have already been closed.

… so I’m looking to close escrow with a fly fisherman. Civilians will not appreciate the view from my veranda, nor those contaminated sparkling waters anytime this century, and most of the next.

I’d petition to rename the street “Love Canal” but most of the water managers are too young to get the joke …

I suppose the biologists took one look at the local creek and skipped over the mayflies and stoneflies, choosing Cerodaphnia Dubia (water fleas) to measure toxicity.

Didn’t help, they died screaming …

But the good news has to be the toxic algae bloom and the increase in eColi found. Proof that the local creek is capable of hosting a diverse ecosystem containing predators and killer bio-toxins.

… and with all the microscopic nasty entering the food chain, and slurped gleefully by the young-of-the-year fry, the fish should be virile, aggressive and subdued with nothing less than a single-jack.

… and all it’ll take to realize this angling paradise, this lone speck of quality amidst the dust bowl of the Central Valley?  Just add water.

Tags: Brownlining, Little Stinking, Deep Walnut, Yolo County Farm Bureau, cerodaphnia dubia, ecoli, boron, selenium, fly fishing, Woodland, Davis, groundwater contamination