I’m browsing some learned archives of scientific phenomenon while trying to stifle a yawn, when I saw a familiar banner.
“Little known LSU professor dedicates life to the sensory capabilities of fish, discovers “can’t miss” lure system that guarantees extinction of all life in fresh water and salt…”
(Proof that Scientific journals can be no better than the last few pages of Outdoor Life.)
“… scientific lure company gets wind of the amazing new discovery and purchases right to manufacture amazing fish-killing-lure-system…”
That old story has been around for at least a hundred years, and the only real question is how much is it going to cost me, and must I purchase batteries separately?
Amazing scientific fish-killing systems somehow are never cheap, and I can only assume it’s the lifetime of being sequestered in lab garb that requires such a hit to the credit card.
“The take home message from this is simple: fish learn and associate particular scents as food, but taste is an actual reflex for them. The taste of particular natural chemicals triggers a feeding response.” In other words, if a fish is exposed to certain taste stimuli, it cannot control its urge to bite. Obviously, this has huge implications for the fishing industry, but the technology doesn’t stop there.
Mentioning all those modern devices like patents and intellectual property adds a certain legitimacy, which is markedly different than the many snake oil variants of the past.
… and if my lay translation is correct, a fish that eats certain things simply must eat more of them – until it lies on the bottom stuffed and immobile. Lay’s Potato chips made a similar claim with their, “you can’t just eat one” advertising, so the science appears sound …
LSU’s Office of Intellectual Property worked closely with Caprio in the early stages of his technology’s formation all the way through the licensing agreement with Mystic Tackleworks, a company dedicated to developing scientific fishing lure systems.
For a 5.5” strobe equipped minnow whose “taste” tank is filled by jamming a plasticine nozzle in its arse and squeezing, you’ll pay $33.96. As they’re sold as kits, you’ll receive:
The BioPulse™ Freshwater Medium Diver Kit includes the 5.5″ Rainbow Lure with split rings and size 2 Eagle Claw ‘Laser Sharp” hooks, one canister of Sci-X™ Freshwater Neurological Feeding Stimulant, and one bottle of BioFlush™ Anti-Microbial Cleaning Solution
In a sense I’m jealous. The only time we’ve had the luxury of science and raw marketing genius converge was for the “Frisky Fly” – the little V-shaped buzz bomb of the 1980’s. Jim Teeny made a stab at patenting the Teeny Nymph, and everyone merely hated him for it …
…probably because it wasn’t scientific.
I made an attempt to patent the “Singlebarbed Sonic Fly Fishing Fish Summoner” – but was rejected on the provisional patent as dog food and creamed corn was already under patent …
… and I had a great spiel on why you needed to punch holes in the sonic assembly with a can opener … audio resonance being the fourth dimension and all …
Thirty-four dollars per lure is a stiff sentence. I’ll assume it’s the Freshwater Neurological Feeding Stimulant that’s the LSU Professor’s handiwork, and wait by the trash can while Mr. Inconsolable throws that away now that his $35 in part of a bridge piling …
Who knows, the anti-microbial cleaning solution might work on waders …
Full Disclosure: Never seen or fished one, no plans to fish one either.
Tags:Frisky fly, Jim Teeny, Teeny nymph, Mystic Tackleworks, Biopulse fishing system, neurological feeding stimulant, bass lures, LSU
The idea that Lay’s potatoe chips and sound science might appear in the same sentence may indicate that the food industry has been utilizing this theory on us for some years. Conspiracy theorist across the nation: Rise Up!
It’s possible that diabetics (stuffed & immobile)have been chugging your anti-microbial cleaning solution without success for years as well. I wouldn’t hold out much hope for those waders if that’s the case.
Unfortunately, the pitch lacks a true fear appeal – a sentence or two raising the specter of social rejection if the prospect doesn’t buy (and now).
Who wants to risk having his girl run off with someone who bought the lure, extinguished all the fish life in a local pond, and proved himself a better provider…
I’d guess he’d plunk all them corpses in the sink expecting her to do something about them. She’d be back quick enough.
Sounds true enough. But, would any of us take her back after she ran off with the Great White Hunter? Let her eat fish!
The incontinent little lure that oozes all day long.
Do fish normally pay more attention to the baitfish that were on an olestra binge the day before?
My hope (and assumption): It won’t actually work any better than another lure at catching fish – though it sure looks like its light years ahead at catching dollars.
Now that is high-tech bait!
Hopefully they are going to bring the price down soon so I try it.
Thanks for sharing.