Some small segment of the readership gnashed teeth when the news broke of Hummer being sold to a Chinese company. Monstrous vehicles and the taming of wilderness go hand in hand with the fishing ethic ..

Most anglers assume that long hikes from the parking lot leave the hatchery fish and beer guzzlers a distant memory, and the ability to mash the forest flat while reclining in air conditioned splendor is the same thing, only less sweaty.

While the rest of the crowd promotes tents with solar panels, recycled water, butane stoves, and “Top 10” posts of natural occurring toilet paper substitutes – we know you better and won’t waste your time.

… you’re one economic uptick away from that Hummer, a couple thousand dollar fly rods to match, and if the new manufacturer offers the base model with tracks and bogey wheels – you’ll take that over milquetoast mud n’ snow’s any day. 

While you’re at it you may want to think past the weekend expedition –and all those pine trees you mashed into the forest duff, how you laughed and made faces while the Warden emptied a couple of clips in your direction, as you rolled over his Jimmy like it was tinfoil …

It’s the Dartz armored. Mongolia was cool – but Camels have fleas and now you’re looking for something more serious…

Unfortunately you’re too late. The Eddie Bauer model had whale penis leather interior, they’ve dropped the lux package – due to the violent protest from Greenpeace and opted for something less painful to whales.

Nickname potential must’ve scared them off, especially with us less fortunate in the crosswalk fearful of the throaty rumble and pale skinned Dot Com wunderkind looking truculent behind tinted glass …

… another “Dick on Dick” comes to mind.

Tags: Dartz, armored SUV, fishing, whale penis leather interior, Fish mobile, far from the beaten path, glampers, carbon sensitive