Science claims you’re all pansies.

The “Post-Industrial Revolution Male”, whose big mouth, failing testosterone levels, and receding hairline mask a flaccid imitation of pre-Industrial Man. The surge of adrenalin that served us so well outrunning Sabertooth tigers, has dwindled to a sputtering trickle reserved for the driver ahead whose signal to merge has offended you mightily.

“…humans have lost 40 percent of the shafts of the long bones because they are no longer subjected to the kind of muscular loads that were normal before the industrial revolution.”

… implying a Cro-Magnon Steve Rajeff could have thrown his fly rod 236 feet impaling an unwary Impala through the eye … The same grain-fed post-Industrial version throws only the line a similar distance, kills nothing, and we’re awestruck.

Twenty thousand years ago six male Australian Aborigines chasing prey left footprints in a muddy lake shore that became fossilized. Analysis of the footprints shows one of them was running at 37 kph (23 mph), only 5 kph slower than Usain Bolt was traveling at when he ran the 100 meters in world record time of 9.69 seconds in Beijing last year. But Bolt had been the recipient of modern training, and had the benefits of spiked running shoes and a rubberized track, whereas the Aboriginal man was running barefoot in soft mud. Given the modern conditions, the man, dubbed T8, could have reached speeds of 45 kph, according to McAllister.

They were bigger, meaner, built from “whang” leather, and could run across the Savannah without pausing for drive thru’s or using Google Maps, surviving on warm pond water and a handful of jerked meat.

… which is the lecture every son receives from his Poppa when he reminisces of his generation and hardships .. It’s committed to memory, we endured it each time we asked for money or car keys.

”The photographs showed Tutsi initiation ceremonies in which young men had to jump their own height in order to be accepted as men. Some of them jumped as high as 2.52 meters, which is higher than the current world record of 2.45 meters.

But real stress wasn’t associated with outrunning a dinosaur, it appears avoiding matrimony may have been just as strenuous …

“…women of the extinct hominids such as the Neanderthals carried around 10 percent more muscle than modern European men, and with training could have reached 90 percent of the bulk of Arnold Schwarzenegger at his physical prime. Her shorter lower arm would have given her a great advantage in an arm wrestle, and she could easily have slammed his arm to the table.”

Which is the reason that aborigine was doing “45 in a 25.” It’s plain that our paternal ancestors organized early, initiating some type of selective breeding and evolution has given us an additional nudge. Women have necks, smell sweeter than we do, and I’ve not surrendered the remote from my nerveless, flaccid grip in weeks.

Tags: post-Industrial Man, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neanderthal matrimony, Steve Rajeff, aborigine,