Reading the article is like having your buddy lean over at the conclusion of your Chinese lunch and mention, “add the words ‘in bed’ to your fortune.”

In a set of recent experiments, researchers at the University of Rochester in New York monitored the effects of natural versus artificial environments — and found that nature actually makes us nicer. 

Only in this case, add “except fishermen” to every paragraph.

Previous studies have shown the health benefits of nature range from more rapid healing to stress reduction to improved mental performance and vitality

… except fishermen.

We use Nature to inflict a dizzying assortment of twisted ligaments, contusions, bug bites, blisters, wind burns, frozen limbs, peeling extremities, lacerations, imbedded objects, and broken limbs.

… we’ve got suppurating infections, exposure to hazardous chemicals, radioactive waste, and loud music.

If the fly doesn’t land where we want, if the fish doesn’t immediately eat it, if the wind doesn’t stop, if the felt doesn’t grip – it’s elevated blood pressure, and a string of blood curdling epithets.

Five hours of bumper-to-bumper traffic to fish in horizontal sleet or driving rain is not proof of “improved mental performance.”

Now we’ve found nature brings out more social feelings, more value for community and close relationships. People are more caring when they’re around nature

… except fishermen.

We abandon spouse and children, snarl at anyone encroaching on our riffle, hide our fly box from the curious, and lie about success and failure. Our only lasting relationship is with the clerk at the gas station – source of important toiletries, embalmed cuisine, and fuel.

Fisherman ain’t People. No way.

Tags: nature, science, fishermen, damn lies and statistics, fishermen ain’t people, fly fishing humor