The press made short work of our president’s trip to the piney woods. While the political pundits battle each other over details and implications on the national stage –  the question foremost on our lips is, “whose rod, and what fly did he use?”

A relative in the NSA isn’t always a bad thing, especially when I get to SCOOP the entire angling world and reveal the flies the President used – and the current location of the guide that recommended them …

As the papers relayed, President Obama was merely introduced to fly fishing and not a practiced angler. The outfitter supplied most of the flies and included a couple eye catching local variants along with the usual drab Montana lot.

Everything was fine until the President lined a really large fish and while waiting for the water to “cool,” inquired about entomology and how flies represented the various aquatic insects flitting about…

Apparently the Secret Service screened for outright hostiles and Republicans – but missed humorists in their profiling.  The brief dissertation on fly names and entomology earned His Saltiness a double escort to Marine One – with only the President emerging when it touched down near Old Faithful.

The guide is still unaccounted for – but sources tell me that Guantanamo received a shackled prisoner, whose face was shielded by an iron mask. An uncanny resemblance to dumbass, er .. Dumas …

The “Golden Sachs” was sketched on a rumpled napkin, and thrust under my doorway in a plain envelope. A hasty inscription mentioned the President stung two smallish fish before connecting the name with recent events.

Fishing the reduced dressing of the “401K” likely went over with  a thud. I would’ve mentioned its rare hooking capabilities and drawn attention to a local flavor of Lepidoptera with long spindly legs…

… anything to avoid the steely grasp of unsmiling brutes.

What does the most powerful man in the Western Hemisphere wave in anger? Only the most popular rod ever invented, a Shakespeare UglyStik, 8’6” for a #6 line.

But you guessed that one already.

(Full Disclosure: I am a life long Democrat – and completely unapologetic.)

Tags: Obama fishing, President fishes in Montana, Golden Sachs, reduced 401K, Man in the Iron Mask, Alexandre Dumas, Montana outfitter, Shakespeare UglyStik, Secret Service, Marine One, Old Faithful