Irate anglers and the phalanx of ecological shock troops have a clean target to blame for the world’s declining fish stocks, climate change, and extra hammy feet in your riffle …

… it’s the middle class, they done it ALL.

According to a recent study by Wildlife Conservation Society and other organizations, coral reefs next to “middle class” communities in Eastern Africa have the lowest fish levels. In contrast, reefs next to villages of low and high socio-economic levels had higher fish levels.

Us starving authors belong to the lowliest socio-economic strata – we can boast being part of the solution, not practitioners of conspicuous consumerism – who aren’t holding up their end of the economy, and welch on home loans daily, while not surrendering their seat on the bus to old ladies …

You other guys SUCK.

The explanation, said researchers, lies in the interplay between traditional customs and how growth influences the social fabric of communities. In poor communities, many of which rely heavily on marine resources, fishing levels are kept in check by local cultural institutions and taboos and a reliance on traditional, low-tech fishing methods.

Loosely translated if you see a Simm’s, Orvis, Sage, or Winston sticker on clothing or rod, if you see a Starbuck’s container in the interior of their car, or if the rod is made from Bamboo, they’re poachers.

Bamboo fishermen covet your daughter, wife, or Springer Spaniel (not necessarily in that order) – them fellows disregard all the important tenets of a modern industrialized society, acting out their base nature with the rest of us as unwitting victims.

Tags: Orvis, Simm’s, Sage, Winston, Starbuck’s, Bamboo rod, poachers, World Conservation Society, industrialized society, taboo, tradition, consumerism, home loan defaults