It was an old guide’s trick I learned after the Great Sandwich Mutiny of 1991, wherein the rest of the angling workforce insisting on rotating the sandwich making duties as they were tired of seeing my fingerprints in the condiments.

It was all scripted by me of course, as Junior Guide Wannabe – I was given all the really disgusting duties to see whether I possessed the Right Stuff.

I didn’t, but I was smart enough to figure that a steady diet of Baloney, Goat Cheese, and Cranberry sauce would relieve me of an onerous pre-dawn responsibility. When some really tired senior guide returned with sammitch uneaten – pointing out the prominent thumb print, I’d feign concern – then point out it looked more like a toe …

Hence the Mutiny.

There was a reason they were senior and I was the new guy, as countless hours in the sun only appeared to bake off their frontal lobe, in reality my frontal assault was deftly turned into an encirclement – as this too became a competition.

Long day in the boat meets an hour of fiddling, line up the American Cheese before the condiments dispense. The Rubix Cubewich, guaranteed to be a pile of components before you give up and eat it by the handful, the ultimate in sinister payback.

Tags: Rubix sandwich, guiding, sinister guides, thumb print, american cheese