Every guy loves armaments – it’s just some have bigger ambitions than others…
I know better, were I to find a discarded pineapple hand grenade, bazooka, or discarded Sherman tank – It’d be denied a place of prominence in my living room – so I’d leave it alone, but only after attempting to “dry fire” the thing six or seven times.
Yanking a live air to air missile off the bottom is a feat in and of itself, but strapping it to your boat for a week is just … stupid. You know the Missus wouldn’t consider a six foot finned chrome pipe – as it clashes horribly with Mediterranean end tables and a Turkish throw rug.
… and the garage is a pipe dream; if you’re collecting large discarded explosives – there’s no room in your garage – it’s filled with your comic book collection.
What a timely post. This past week a refrigerator-sized box was deposited on my doorstep by Fed Ex. Once my wife and I finished hurling accusations of “What in the hell did you buy now” at each other, I saw that it was addressed to me, and that the return address belonged to one of my Midwestern relatives. I spent the next fifteen minutes removing various layers of packing material, and at the center of it all found a life-sized, hand carved wooden steelhead, hand painted and decorated with gold and silver foil leaf, mounted on a large chunk of polished burl. Not a bazooka or a pineapple grenade, but pretty cool all the same. As you mentioned in your post, anything we find to be even remotely cool is given the “Don’t even think about putting that thing in my living room” look, and my new treasure met the same fate. It was very disheartening.
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