I suppose Grandma viewing the deed via web cam requires management intervention, but I’m not sure corrective action is required, as Old Faithful is likely to get some – when least expected.

“Raw-dogging” a geyser probably had them fellows in hysterics, as it’s the highest form of Russian Roulette with the Precious. I figure it would’ve made YouTube anyways – probably spawned another Internet sensation or two – but if the fellow hadn’t consulted his watch, or Old Faithful forgot daylight savings, that would have been funnier.

Fishermen are a bit more discreet, but just barely. We’ve peed on almost every sacred monument and artifact out there – and if it wasn’t in it, it was near whatever fed it – which counts double.

Being experts in fluid dynamics and swathed in impenetrable layers of Goretex or Neoprene means every step is calculated; which houses are visible, road traffic patterns, joggers and dog walkers, boaters and hikers, each threat is logged, noted, and categorized.

There’s a shiftiness in eye movement that betrays the deed. Intently scanning water gives way to clipped syllables and furtive glances at available rocks, Old Growth, impenetrable blackberry thickets, and the calculated measurement of mid-riffle to bank – and whether he can get back before opposition slides into his spot.

Impromptu just doesn’t fit the mold. The average bladder is 1 liter capacity and gives the signal when half full. Naturally it’s overridden by whether the fish are biting, a hint of fish activity, or human competition.

Banned from Yellowstone for two years is harsh, an overcooked dog and six months of skin grafts, priceless.

I’m with Darwin.