Wherein the author eats massive crow and exposes his mincing, Poseur nature to the jeers of an angry throng

You’ll remember my pitiful bleat about “but Joe, it might … s-sn-snow!” – and how my iron will trodding through cow crap, farm chemicals, and scorching desert melted after the weatherman claimed it might pizzle snowflakes, with temperatures “near freezing” – or at least 85.

… I begged off claiming I was overdue for a pedicure, while San Mateo Joe blanched momentarily and decided to chance it …

Our policy has always been to turn the other cheek; insults and name calling flow off us akin to dollars out of federal coffers; we might be bullied, harried or buffaloed, but we’re never cowed, and always defiant.

Occasionally sheer eloquence requires I print my comeuppance – the epic spankage visual and without taint…

The cheap cigars that I missed

The Cigars that I missed

The liquor that made the stories better

The liquor I could’ve drankled

Even if it was cold this is what we'd be fueled with

The Breakfast that would’ve proofed me against cold

The snow that turned my knees to water

The deep piled snowdrifts that reduced the Donner Party to cannibals

The freezing temperatures, obligatory mayo-stained wifebeater

The poly-fleece mayo-spattered wifebeaters

The alleged frozen and chill resident that might have ate my fly, had I the good gotdamn sense to be there

The alleged fish that would’ve liked my fly better had I been there

The Missing Man formation at supper

The “Missing Man” formation at supper

Wayne Eng says thanks for the beef Jerky

Wayne Eng enjoying a vast trove of Teriyaki Beef Jerky, that had my name on it.

The word I’m searching for is “Owned” … and while you feast with relish on the dish best served cold, remember me fondly.

7 thoughts on “Wherein the author eats massive crow and exposes his mincing, Poseur nature to the jeers of an angry throng”

  2. SMJ

    It could have gone just as you predicted, in which case my frost-bitten carcass would now be lying on a hospital bed while some doctor debated whether to make the cut at the ankle or just below the knee. Instead I got lucky, and we both know it.

    Let’s try and get up there this summer.

  4. A. Wannabe Travelwriter

    I knew I followed Team Trout Underground for good reason.

    First, they are big on the local Shastafarian Porter and now I see they appreciate The Balvenie, my favorite single malt Scotch.

    But I am still skeptical that Singlebarbed will risk an errant snowflake in a region where they describe the climate as coming in two seasons: Winter and August.

  6. Sully

    Snowing in Missoula now too, but we see it as A GOOD THING. Cold weather has halved flows the past five days. Locals are hoping for a narrow fishable slot between Shakelton Expedition of Endurance and full bore torrential runoff.
    Wish us well.

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