Brownlining is so much more than a cheesy car decal or embossed ashtray. Singlebarbed readers can enhance their stature both instream and off with the addition of the “Chest” inflatable wading aid.
A misstep in our fetid world is always life threatening, a simple pull of the imbedded necklace inflates into a snug neck shield, with ample buoyancy to keep both head and mouth above the syrup.
Slip the Chest under your shirt, relax a couple of buttons and bask in the envious and hateful stares of your Blueline opponents.
The silk screened pectorals accented deftly via gold chain, offers a demure male enhancement, adding credibility to the retelling of heroic deeds, and lending the owner “presence” in all important social venues.
I know gold is over $1000 an ounce but surely you could provide a better chain than that. One panic jerk and your Kmart necklace would break and I would drown. Don’t know about the curly hair chest either. One more hunch and your model would have been born an ape.
It’s a pretty fair “whoopie cushion” if the fish aren’t biting…
If you turn it around, It will look suprisingly like that Pikeminnow photo you showed us last week! And tell james You don’t drown in Brownwater; you’re consumed.
Does it come hairless pasty white? Or with a “Mom” tatoo?
No pasty white available – one misstep in my creek and “pasty white” vanishes with a single dunking (along with your eyebrows and chest hair). It’s like a henna tattoo only forever.
I fear the Little Stinking may be getting an unnecessarily bad rap. Although it may change color, texture, composition and odor frequently, unless it periodically catches fire – as the Cuyahoga River of Ohio has been doing since the 1800s – it should be considered user-friendly, if not practically a “wild” watercourse for the out-of-car-doorsman. This sort of socialist-leaning PR cannot be helpful for such essential California entities as Con Agra, Cargill and ADM. Just sayin’…