I’m a firm believer in science, I’m also firm in my belief that Walmart will own the technology before the first salmon return successfully…
Scientists are attempting to hack the magnetic signature in Salmon that cause them to return to their birth stream, hoping they can redirect fish to different streams and increase their rate of survival.
“We would set up a large magnetic-coil system that lets us dial in the precise magnetic field that we want,” he said. “Then we could take fish from a location where they still survive, raise them in the magnetic field of the tanks, and see if they go to the new river.”
It’s all hypothetical still, but if the Exxon Valdez smashed into an Alaskan peninsula soiling a couple dozen watersheds in the process, fry could be gathered as they migrate downstream and be “magneto-zapped” to return to the Klamath River in California, until them precious Alaskan rivers are restored to full health.
… of course the Klamath locals will enjoy fishing unlike anything ever seen before, and will protest their fry being “brain zapped” to return to Alaska, but the theory is kinda sound, maybe …
Assuming all this works, someone in a white lab coat would zap a hatchery tank full of alevins to return to undammed, pristine waters enjoying the highest chance of survival. That person would then sell the information to us (if they were smart) as they can tell us which river and what year to be lieing in wait.
By then Walmart will have installed the gizmo in their parking lot to irradiate us continuously, sending us to whichever store has the most unsold inventory, or we’re wandering around aimlessly wondering why we want a Tofu-Watermelon milk shake in Modesto, when we live 300 miles away.
Ready for the resurgence of Donny Beaver? Even the Brownliner’s won’t be safe as big city swells lease-option the toxic brown water so’s they can program monstrous salmon runs to the delight of their paying membership. Buying massive amounts of fry pre-programmed to return to a questionable waterway will be a simple “pay for play” transaction, accompanied by two or three years of fresh “No Trespassing” signs, resentment, and litigation.
“Home” is imprinted on all of us, and I’d guess Mother Nature uses a similar mechanism for all species – so it’s only a matter of time before some creep magnetizes the girl’s gym.
hmmm… so is this your underlying plan for world domination?
It’s an interesting theory, but that guy is gonna be bummed when he finds out he’s wrong.
Didn’t he watch Finding Nemo? When fish want to go to a certain place, they ask tortoises for directions, duh.
Have they consulted with Carl Friedrich Gauss?
Maybe degaussing the salmon as they swim under the Golden Gate Bridge, as ships have done in years past, would do the trick.
K.B. – I don’t think they need to install this equipment in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Did you really think those so-called electrical theft deterrent systems installed by the doors only had one purpose
Degaussing is liable to turn a fragile salmon pea-brain into an omelet – which might lower their IQ enough to want to bite my fly…
I think all the fishermen would give up the trade – it’d be more fun to fight over who gets to hit the button next.
-ZAP-