While doling out all that cash to banks and insurance companies the Bush administration managed to find the remaining 70 million owed to the West Coast salmon fishery.

Maybe it’s my fondness for the Brotherhood, but of all the folks receiving federal aid, these lads need it least.

Fishermen have always been a proud and capable crowd, and rather than enforced idleness, what would serve the commercial fishing industry best is some of that leftover Iraqi ordinance – not money.

They’ve got the boats already, why not offload the unnecessary nets and winches – add a couple extra crews from neighboring trawlers, and go hijack some merchant shipping?

Everyone loves pirates, so why not cash in on the tanker hatch?

Middle America could enjoy a resurgent auto industry after a half dozen Nissan or Toyota container ships are met by the “Salmolian” navy and held for ransom.

We’ve got ample natural preserves off the coast to host the next “Tortuga” – throw a couple casinos on some sandy beach, add some colorful personalities wearing eye-patches and gold teeth, and it’s a poster child for self sufficiency.

Loosely allied with our government and not subject to the niceties of the Geneva convention – we could export all them hedge fund managers that were expecting to fold laundry at Club Fed, and feed them to sharks instead.

I smell a cash cow, especially with the Pay Per View royalties…