Honest, Lucy will hold the football this time, Charlie Brown

I’ve never understood why anglers (as a group) scored so poorly in the math department. Sure, we got a double helping of optimism, but that was so’s we’d stand out in the rain all day…

Jesus and the Apostles were fishermen, but they had the same problems with figures and addition… It might be why JC was so upset with the  money lenders, one of them had the audacity to ask, ” if a barque loaded with Menhaden left Antioch on the morrow, and at the same time a skiff full of Olive oil left Delphi, how much would I …”

Recent events suggests the Roman approach of skewering would have been a better tactic, but like most anglers – Jesu Christo practiced “catch and release.”

I’m not complaining about the raw estimation practiced by our profession, both rounding up and significant digits are all schools of Mathematics with many weighty tomes to back their usage.

The average age of fly fishermen is 51, that’s the number used by Madison Avenue and explains why old scotch, young broads, and things that make a large arse comfortable are featured prominently in our advertising. It’s why angling periodicals feature foreign destinations, and rods are so expensive, because you’re supposed to be older and wiser and have a couple pesos to rub together.

All that by the wayside, what is it about statistics and averaging that gives you fellows so much trouble?

The condensed version, “average” is the important concept to grasp. Simply put, for each one of these:

 

There’s one of these:

bikini What we can agree on is that both specimens are in extremely short supply.

Ignore the candy thrown at you by the “Yellow Journalists” at TroutUnderground, he fishes cane – synonymous for a slow learner.

“Slab of the Week”, “Arse of the Week” or “Breastmeat of the Month” is all smoke and vapor, and the “eye candy” that teases you into thinking monstrous hatches are followed by Lust in the Dust, are pure myth…

… propagated by middle aged fat guys that passed English (barely) and failed math too.

Average age 51, suggests there’s plenty of ladies interested in the sport – they may not have the long legs or bustline to suit your particular kink, but plenty own great tackle, can cast like hell, and own boats.

If Grandma had 60 acres of river frontage, I’d consider raising my standards to match.

12 thoughts on “Honest, Lucy will hold the football this time, Charlie Brown

  1. myself

    Hey,

    What’s with the “Yellow Journalists”. We see bass angling as a fun sport. And as the new generation enjoy promoting it to the new generation.

    How exactly did you stumble upon “promotion girls” in the first place? In any case, it’s not a crime, being young and enjoying life. We don’t use unnecessary big words, but usually focus on making our site readable.

    If one day I reach the age of 51 I will again visit this site. Yes I do find the site interesting, and more information intensive than our own. But you aim where you want to go.

    Cheers,
    The “Yellow Journalists”. BAH

  2. KBarton10 Post author

    Simple typo on my part friend, you’re supposed to be “Breastmeat of the Month” – not Yellow Journalism – something saved for the Trout Underground.

    By age 51 we use big words to make up for all the stuff that fell off or quit working, it’s the process we endure where we end up just like Dad. Apologies for the humor poked at you – and the big words used.

  3. A. Wannabe Travelwriter

    Maybe you should create an alternate site with simple language and concepts and refrain from using unnecessary big words (and less of them); something that even Sarah Palin would find readable.

    I think my daughters would take exception to the implication that being young and wishing to enjoy life is implicitly mutually exclusive of being able to comprehend meritorious prose.

    When did being less intelligent (aiming low?) get to be considered an attractive trait?

  4. Jean-Paul Lipton

    We don’t use unnecessary big words, but usually focus on making our site readable.

    That’s so JV

    If one day I reach the age of 51 I will again visit this site.

    KB you got owned

    you aim where you want to go.

    so that explains your site…

  5. myself

    Hey people,

    Relax, take it easy. I’ve actually been very happy since this post. Seems bad publicity is in fact good publicity.

    Just as an added bonus. I do have some big words I could throw around. Before you start judging me by the way I write, I’m finishing my BComm. degree in Industrial Psychology and as well as a major in journalism.It’s not a lack of knowledge, only a lack of WANT.

    I just use my blog as a means of entertainment, not serious writing.

    “And you AIM WHERE YOU WANT TO GO”. I was referring to the fact that my blog is aimed at students, younger people. Which the majority of don’t use big words. It wouldn’t make sense writing big intense articles.

    And I don’t believe I said anything about being less-intelligent. If you seriously believe you are more intelligent than other people, due to your OUTSTANDING use of words.. That’s your thing. It seems more like your overcompensating for a lack of other talents.

    I don’t particularly enjoy arguing, I live in South Africa.. so that’s basically the only thing we do here.

    I apologise.
    Keep up the good work.

  6. SMJ

    Found this over at the “Bassboys” site.

    “Hi,
    We constantly try and keep your updated with interesting fishing resources around the web. If you feel like reading more “full-bodied” fishing and other related articles, visit the guys over at http://www.singlebarbed.com/ . They can be a bit passionate at times, so watch your tongue, but in most aspects they provide something different. Topics with flavor.
    Also part of the Fly Fishing Underground Network, they provide the in-detail look at hooks, baits and different setups every fly-fisherman is looking for.”

    “Full-bodied” fishing indeed. If my body gets any fuller I’ll need a new pair of waders. Must be the flavorful topics or those hot fudge sundaes that’s causing it.

  7. Myself

    Hey,

    Yea just thought it would be nice seeing that I keep getting hits from your site. 😉

    Soap eating wont be necessary. We’re all free to say what we want. Something which is lacking in my sunny country.

    Cheers.

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