We’re being shortchanged, California anglers pay $35 bucks a year to fish from dawn till dusk – legal hours unchanged for the last half century.

It’s for the greater good, fish need beauty sleep – and I’m all for their being rested and refreshed the following day, but if the environment changes, shouldn’t these legacy rules change in lockstep?

Science is on our side, what with the recently released study on the Tennessee River, whose findings demonstrate radical change in mayfly behavior, complements of Starbux, and the Mega-caffeine craze…

Caffeine exists in a high-enough concentration to force-feed a typical baby mayfly the equivalent of 26.6 cups of coffee a day, according to Sean Richards, associate professor of biological and environmental sciences at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.

We never put “two and two” together, enduring all those miniscule evening hatches assuming water temperature or weather prevented the normal hatch from coming off. What’s really happening is mayflies – and by inference, caddis, and stoneflies, are partying into the wee hours of the morning and emerging in pre-dawn darkness.

I never intended my hard earned license dollars to support prepubescent youngsters pissing away their youth in a cataclysmic blur of hyper-reproduction – where the frantic paroxysm of emergence occurs after legal hours – when wardens prowl and the legal anglers are abed.

Trout populations may not be in decline, and if we’re able to fish between midnight and when the Seven-Eleven closes, 100 fish nights might be common. Even “Whirling Disease” may be a myth, fueled by a diet of caffeine laced invertebrates, trout chase as much tail as we did.

Congress is busy bailing out the unfortunates that don’t fish – so save your moral outrage for the election, where we can really apply pressure.

“If you think about Prozac, it mellows people out for the most part, and gives them a state of well-being,” he said. “If you give that to a fish, then how well are they going to be able to avoid a predator?”

On second thought, don’t write anybody – things are peachy-fine, and I’ve just got enough time to squeeze in a nap before dark.

I’ll see hear you in the fast water.