I’ve mentioned the topic before, but am reminded anew by today’s story on the FDA’s genetically modified animal approval process.

A great deal of emphasis has been placed on the fly fishing “boutique” experience, complete with ponderous grain fed trout lolling in hygienic currents – for rich patrons and their entourage. It’s been folded into the sport, compliments of the “grip and grin” photo – where “slabs” are awe inspiring, despite being fed Fruit Loops by the shovel full – with a leavening of Human Growth Hormone as chaser…

There’s only a couple million of us – but that’s enough to have Sage or Orvis commission the “perfect trout” – grows four times faster than normal, eats sewage without ill effects, and can reproduce in a rain puddle without stress.

Declining water quality and the loss of critical watershed to development could be countered with genetics – although we’d fist fight over whether to put an asterisk next to any IGFA record book.

We could switch genetics as often as fashion, introducing Brown Trout capable of 60 MPH speeds underwater, prefers Mud Snails to Mayflies, and glows in the dark – allowing all the conundrums of fishing to be laid bare.

In a neighboring watershed we could feature Eastern Brook Trout with teeth as big as sharks, whose impoundments are fenced with Concertina wire – and all the guides carry sidearms … adding risk and fear, something we’ve never had before.

Throw some original DNA in a freezer so’s we could always return to the “Old Timey” flavor, and toss a bunch of dissimilar stem cells in a blender to see what else we could catch…

You know it’s coming, the consumer angle will be first due to it’s broader market, but the boutique experience will surface in some indoor cement pond in lower Manhattan, featuring piped chamber music, Bling water, and complimentary Sushi.

River frontage in the crap water is still cheap – you may want to think outside the streambed …