It started innocently enough, a brief piece on Carp fishing on the Monument water in the UK. The proprietor has banned the use of maggots as they provide little nourishment to the trophy fish that inhabit the impoundment.

Boilies and pellets will now be the only two baits allowed at the fishery, as they are known to contain far more weight-gaining proteins than any other anglers’ baits.

It’s Singlebarbed custom to pounce on anything worthy of a giggle – and a lot of stuff that’s unworthy, but I was a little put off that I have to watch what I eat and fish don’t? 

This coming opener half of you will be fishing over planted fish, and with all of the medical community conspiring to deny us everything that feels or tastes good, why wouldn’t we look at what fish are eating to maximize the angling experience?

Excluding their surroundings and everything else up to the hook set, what part of the fish-Man battle is the best part?

I’d figure some anglers love the sound of the reel screaming, some prefer an aerial display, many like the bulldog tug of war of a fish headed for deeper water, perhaps a sick bastard even loves the head shakes that reverb up the line from a fish below you – knowing that fly is perilously close to being dislodged..

Our license fees pay for much of the hatchery program, and specific species are selected to ensure a hardy strain of planted trout, but is that going far enough? “Trout Chow” is something swept off the floor at the granary, mixed with leftover vitamin supplements from Cheerios and Wonder bread, I’m thinking a couple extra bucks might yield tenacious whippets that smash tackle, demean fishermen, and cause Mom to pull her dumpling back from the water’s edge.

We’ve got all that Human Growth Hormone confiscated from the cyclists and baseball players, and since you’ve no plans to eat any of this brood – why not add a couple gallons to the pond?

Plenty of science remains and you can help; we’ll leave the precise mixture to the folks that know best, but we’ll  need to tell them what fighting property to enhance – unless you want to go the dementia route, in which case “fat fish in their 40’s” will do…

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