Science gone awry, now it’s torch and pitchfork time…

I yawned at the stem cell debate and didn’t blink at the prospect of genetic manipulation of crops, but Pavlovian fish sounds like something worth firebombing a clinic or two. Fish taught to swim into a net when a tone is sounded – it’s every guide’s dream and our worst nightmare rolled into one.

What’s next, teaching them to coat themselves in batter and hop inside a fryer?

The theory is simple throw farm fish into the ocean and have them swim back to be fed, while they’re not looking smack some with a hammer and wrap them in plastic.

The bigger goal is to defray the costs of fish farming, an increasingly important source of the world’s seafood. If fish can be trained to return to the farmer after feeding in the open ocean for several days, farms could save money on feed and reduce the amount of fish waste released in concentrated areas.

If this catches on – what canny guide wouldn’t start planting fish in his home water? Tough day with clients and drop the iPod earpiece overboard playing “the secret Tone.”

Why stop there? If you can get them to come to the boat, you might as well get them to rise a lot and jump periodically for added attraction. Imagine how clients will revere you when you glance at the water, stroke your chin, and pronounce, “..that weedbed at 9:00 has a ton of large fish..” – who could resist abusing that much raw power…

He also expects large numbers of released fish to be lost to predators.

This is like everyone on the block using the same frequency on their garage door opener, if I hear you humming while chumming – I’m likely to harvest your entire crop..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e-vgQSqNtA[/youtube] 

Sorry this tone’s taken …

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