“Bait and Switch” describes most restaurant menus I’ve ever seen. Crisp green lettuce, ruby red tomatoes, white onions, crisp pickles – then the order lands with a leaden thump, and the sodden mass of “cow-like substance” winks back at you…

I always assumed that’s why they took the menus away when they took your order, so you couldn’t point at the picture and protest.

The “Cheeseburger in a can” looked promising, it’s the only meal that advertises itself with no letdown, you don’t need to open it, you already know what it looks like.

For the Epi-Curious the “Tail Pipe Barbeque” has Brownliner written all over it. Slap some grease meat into the device and head for the creek. On arrival you can add bun and assorted condiments, and be the envy of all them tired heroes plodding back to the car.

For the Blueline fishermen we’ll add cutlery, as they don’t appreciate the natural floatation qualities inherent in cow fat.

What’s missing is a couple of large diameter hose clamps, and extra garlic – in case I encounter something tasty near the center divider…

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