Think of that next time you toss the Sumbitch up onto the bank

Now I'm in for it Evolutionists have surmised Man is the result of a long chain of genetic events whose ancestors lived in water. Divine Theory has always touted the lack of evidence in the fossil record to support that conclusion. Four years ago a paleontologist unearthed a “fish” that had both neck and “hands“, the missing link in human evolution.

Armed with a public school introduction to Evolution, and setting aside the controversy of Divine versus Darwinism, it’s well known many branches of the Evolutionary Tree cast barren fruit. We’re at the top of the food chain for the moment, but any number of maladies could change that in the blink of an eye. Not surprisingly, the next sentient species may already inhabit our waterways.

While not overly worried that “them as inherits” is going to have a grudge,  we’ll be that “idjit ape thing” they find traces of … how we dominated the planet briefly and went “poof” for unknown reasons. I am intrigued by the notion of “which fish it’ll be” and how come we haven’t placed the entire genus off limits – so they get their chance.

It won’t be anything “Salmo”, as humans have turned over every stone trying to find a super-strain, they lost whatever legacy was possible when we started raising them on handfuls of dry dog food. In fact, you can forget all of the current gamefish species – we like ’em, so what we don’t eat we’ll screw up by tinkering with genetic code, possibly in an attempt to produce bigger ones faster, or other noble purpose.

I’m thinking it’ll be a member of the “bullhead” family, an underwater cockroach capable of surviving any known flavor of Armageddon, thrives on Zebra mussels and Rock Snot, immune to Ebola, and can reproduce in pure ammonia.

Think of that the next time you yank one off your line and toss it up on the bank, all you’re doing is selecting for the air breathers … brilliant move, Monkey-Boy.

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4 thoughts on “Think of that next time you toss the Sumbitch up onto the bank

  1. Lou

    Bullheads? Maybe. But what about your beloved and infernal squawfish? Now there’s a swimming cockroach if there’s ever been one. But I think there are several more likely survivors. You’ll have to think of warm southern waters in most cases, but thank George, we’re all going to have those. My nominees:

    Freshwater: Chopique AKA bowfin AKA grindle – once they meet, your squawfish is toast
    Saltwater: Hardhead catfish, with a few sculpins and dogfish in cooler pockets of water
    Brackish, fresh, salt, or whatever we’ve got: alligator gar.

    These species all have such tenacity that you can expect them to find a way to feed on land if they have to, and thus drive cockroaches into extinction.

  2. KBarton10

    Those are mighty worthy choices. I excluded squawfish as they don’t take my fly every cast – any truly superior fish would eat the sumbitch every time I threw it – seeing it for the gastronomical “rembrandt” that it was…

  3. KBarton10 Post author

    Singlebarbed does not quail at the sight of murky waters, he only does that when he glimpses a bar of soap..

    That’ll be enough from damn family members, go tend to “The Luddite” on the couch..

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