I had no idea I was in such distinguished company, the question is, which is the half that swears like a sailor?
“A U.S. survey of licensed hunters and anglers last year, commissioned by the National Wildlife Federation, found half of those polled identified themselves as evangelical Christians.”
All the fishermen I know are liars, boozers, womanizers, and would as soon abandon spouse and infants to chase the rumor of big fish, so which half am I fishing with?
I like to think that the flipped quarter sometimes lands on its edge, which explains my predilections, but if the last dozen fellows I fished with are Christian, it must’ve changed remarkable since the Lutheran brimstone of my youth.
It may be that I’m mistaking exclamation for invocation. When the guy next to me in the riffle yells, “Jesus H. Christ” – it may be a prayer to speed his reflexes, I’m going to have to look closer next time. When the “GoddamnitToHell” wafts upstream – it may be a heathen swearing at weak tippet, or an invocation from a Christian – ensuring the fish he missed simmers for eternity.
Big fish can make any of us an evangelical, especially if they’re released prematurely. Moses might’ve parted the Red Sea accidental-like; after busting off a keeper the mighty oath parted the hair of the assembled tribes of Israel, the Red Sea, and the encroaching Egyptian army.
The Bible doesn’t mention whether Jesus was a good fisherman, I expect he spooked a lot of fish with the “walking on water” bit, sure is simpler than wading. I think I’ll go with the consensus on his skills, not because I’m currying favor – more of a professional courtesy.
I never saw much Christianity as a child, usually because I was in the corner facing the wall, and when relieved of that duty, it was to get a soap bar in the mouth. I never understood why the Lord insisted on such clean teeth, my head was underwater so I couldn’t make out the reverend’s explanation..
Technorati Tags: evangelicals, christians, fishermen, swear like a sailor
Boy. Are you ever in trouble now.
Which half were you in?
Keith: Not far from my fish camp in Northeastern Washington there is a rapidly growing Fundamentalist community (mostly transplants from South Carolina). These folks have their own camo-clad militia (even babies in camo), and they all hunt and fish. They’ve recently built a huge lodge and are now offering combination guided fly fishing and religious retreats. The guides, though aggressive businessmen, are lousy fly fishers, and have tried by covert means to trick me out of information. (Didn’t work.) Nothing would please me more than to see these people shooting up into the sky like naked rockets to join Jesus in the rapturous clouds. So… to answer your question, I’ll leave you with something from Lao Tse: “The name that can be spoken, is not the real name. The way that can be named, is not the real way.”
Point taken.
But, I’m thinking a canny lad may be able to curry a little favor. A talented fly fisherman armed with some philosophy – you may be able to achieve minor diefication, or at least a new set of camo’s..
Hell yes, I’m joking.
A worthy suggestion within that joke, though. Actually considering it as a fall-back option, but for now I’m content being a small idiot king.
Oh, and by the way, Blackwater just picked up a 15-billion dollar contract to do
“Homeland” defense work; and guess who’s filling those jobs in the neighborhood.