Golfers and Fisherman have a special Hell reserved; fishermen will burn everlasting because we took the worst the Devil offered and still enjoyed ourselves.  When Old Beelzebub froze us, we went ice fishing, when burnt – we slathered on sun block, and carried twice our beer ration – what’s coming we earned, as Lucifer does not take being mocked lightly.

Golfers share a similar fate, mainly because of them silly clothes. When the Devil sent the Torments they ran for the clubhouse, rather than endure and laugh in the face of impending doom, guzzled fruit drinks with umbrellas and laughed at new members net income.

It’s OK though, the ring of Hell reserved for us has all the fallen debutantes and wastrel heiress’s – golfers get the wino’s and porn freaks.

Want a little payback now, on this earthly plane?

Hammacher Schlemmer has the ultimate Ninja Poaching ensemble for fishermen denied them enormous bass on the 14th hole. A “water trap” iron with reel attached, the business end hidden from view in your golf bag, leaving no trace of your real intent. Wave each group through the hole while you “search” for your missing golf ball, they’ll think you’re a real sport, while you thump snot out of all them placid elitist bass.

If you want to take some home, that’s fine by me – the “Priest” is built right into the rod…any range marshal will be sympathetic as they count the number of “strokes” you’re penalized, just mark your score accordingly.

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