Dump the Head Cement, I’m using Doughnut Glaze and Sprinkles

My penchant for twisted is well known, and there’s nothing like a bacon filled, transfat laden, gut bomb in one hand, and a greasy handful of sodium-impregnated french fries in the other, while reading about the perils of both on the Internet.

So I am absorbed in “We’re all Fat, and gonna die” when I espy the following:

Fast food appeals to humans’ primordial taste preferences for sugar, fat and salt, the preferences that an infant is born with.

Low Sodium DressingHold the phone, are humans the only animals so afflicted? Do trout have the same built-in appetites?

A fish in a typical freestone stream is somewhat stationary, the water traveling by at a reasonable clip, somewhere between 1 and 20 MPH. If a nymph were to dislodge itself and tumble through the water column, likely it would move at the same speed as the current.

To the trout behind the rock, that is fast food.

If scientists are correct, and salt, sweet and fat are neon signs saying “EAT ME” – then we’re missing the boat completely.

It gets way better.

“If you take a child who has been subjected to endless advertising for fast food, to peer pressure from friends who frequent fast-food restaurants and to the presence of fast food in schools, it’s not a big surprise that when given a choice between a plate of French fries or a bowl of blueberries, that child would choose the fries,”

Land O' Lakes Gordon I flip a Pheasant Tail nymph to a likely looking lie and no response. If I cast the same nymph 100 times it’s now “endless advertising for fast food” – and the other schooled trout will nudge the biggest fellow, “Dude, you gonna eat that, or what?”

Match the Hatch is yesterday’s news, “Supersize My Flies” is the new paradigm.

But wait there’s more, this revolution of angling theory is sweetened  considerably;

There may be another factor at work as well. Animal studies have shown that foods with poor nutritional quality can lead to nutritional deficiencies that might in turn lead to overeating. “If the diet doesn’t allow access to key nutrients,” Ludwig explains, “it’s possible that in an attempt to solve the nutrient deficiency, the body begins increased eating of everything.”

There isn’t much nutrition in a sparsely dressed Brassie, so if we cast at the fish enough times, it’ll be unable to resist and eat it. While loving the salty taste, there are no nutrients other than head cement, which compels it to eat everything in the vicinity.

As a gentleman, you let your buddy fish through the run, then you wade in and reap the benefits.

Science, you just have to think outside the bun.

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5 thoughts on “Dump the Head Cement, I’m using Doughnut Glaze and Sprinkles

  1. San Mateo Joe

    I’ll ask the French. I’m heading to the southeastern part of their country on Saturday. As such, there will be no snide comments from me for the next two weeks, which is something I’m sure you’ll appreciate. Try not to take too much joy from my absence. I’ll look forward to catching up upon my return.

  2. San Mateo Joe

    This is Mrs. San Mateo Joe’s Birthday/Anniversary trip; a trip she has planned, researched, and talked about for the past two years. She does not fish, and she has made it clear that we are to enjoy this trip as a couple. She’s a good woman, and she doesn’t ask much of me, so I’ll be leaving my fishing gear at home.
    We’ll be cruising up the Rhone river for the better part of the first week, so I might be able to snap a photo or two of someone else fishing, but unless you want a non-fishing report (on the food, wine, shopping, beer, churches, pastis, etc.), I’ll leave the notebook at home.

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