I take my Armani clad shock troops out of the financial district; lock and load with laptops, cell phones, personal digital assistants, dry erase markers and ample frappachino, then plunk them into a “World Class Trout Experience” – hoping they will learn to “Think Like a Fish?”

I ‘ve been attempting to think like a fish for a couple of decades – finally decided that fish think rather poorly. I assume that this experience will teach your executives to mill aimlessly in circles when out of their comfort zone, to snap at brightly colored foreign objects, to flee at the hint of movement in your industry, and be gutted mercilessly when your company is acquired?

I think I would be a lot more comfortable with some form of predator metaphor.

“Together we put on competitive ‘waders’ and literally put your management team in the ‘water’ near the customer ‘stream.’ “

So they can flail around ineffectually, learn brand loyalty by changing flies constantly, expose them to superstitious ritual, go in over their head at the first careless step, and blame the weather for their failure to execute.

Nice. On day two you’ll have to teach them the difference between “watering hole” and fishing hole ..