You can all breath a big sigh of relief, we are not numbers junkies.

I was pressed into service by my girlfriend to find some odd vitamin, and wound up touring the Health section of assorted women’s magazines. They are number junkies, not us.

So I may remember how many fish I caught, they remember how much each fish cost. I see how that is possible after enduring; “13 ways for better sex, 12 things to pamper yourself, 10 new shoes you can’t live without, 23 new intimacy secrets, and 427 ways to torture your husband.”

Two can play this game. The opportunity presented itself when (#428), “That’s your third slice of pie” rang across the dinner table. Rather than act guilty, dropping the offending slice as if stung, I reached for a fourth slice with, “The daily bag limit is two, but four in possession.”

It was them numbers that threw her, she wasn’t used to having a sword at a gunfight.

Notice how their eyes glaze over when you mention, “…the 427R produces a mind blowing 550 horsepower with 535 foot pounds of torque..” – they are number driven, yet those numbers can’t be added. You have them at your mercy, backpeddaling frantically, move for the kill…

“In fact, Dear – the latest version of their Generation 5 (G5) High Modulus IM8 blanks, offers unparalled thrust-to-weight ratio, presenting #18-#2/0 flies delicately at 25ft, add 14% Boron helical filaments …. and… its 23% off on sale!”

You know how the game is played, now go get that Boat, Sailor!