Of course there isn’t cardboard in Pork Buns, they shot the last fellow that tried that.  Taking a page from the Chinese, had there been fishermen in charge, we would have done the same thing to Bernie Ebbers, and all them Enron executives . To make the punishment uniquely American, it would have been a Pay-Per-View event.

No, what they need to test for cardboard is the heat-lamped Egg McMuffin.

Every fisherman I’ve met has a horror story of a pre-dawn indignity, perpetrated on their tastebuds by an unfeeling teenager, grinning wickedly from an armored McDonald’s window.

Like you, I wear the scars. Scalding black, coffeelike-substance, spilt on crotch or thigh,  in a vain attempt to restore breathing after swallowing the egg-cardboard combo while doing 70+ in a 55 zone. 

Fisherman and non-fisherman alike will agree that too big a bite of an Egg McMuffin, where you get part of the box in the mouthful, will not change the flavor of the completed sandwich.

That’s proof enough for me. I don’t want sympathy or legal action, a front row seat will do fine.