Category Archives: humor

Health Plan for Anglers

bassproshops_logo1.jpgYou’ve seen them and you may even have one or two under your roof; the infirm angler who’s content to sit by the fire, whose memory is spurred only by your precious single malt, and is content to scratch himself publicly.

I was heartened to find a bastion of the angling community offering to take them off your hands. With the decline in the US savings rate, old anglers have only the public dole to ensure their Golden years, now the Bass Pro Shop franchise is willing to help.

In their first public appeal for “angling artifacts” Bass Pro has emerged as the conscience of our sport, a laudable effort worthy of our continued support.

Sage “Z Plane” warps Space-Time Continuum

sagelogo.jpgGranted that I only completed college, but I’ve seen every Star Trek episode twice, so I know physics.

Sage Rod Company has introduced the “Z Plane” series of graphite rods, and a quick perusal of their site brings thoughts unbidden; the X axis is horizontal, the Y axis is vertical, therefore the Z axis has to be the wobble induced by an unbalanced body in orbit near your head.

So I went to the Internet for confirmation and “Google’d” a surprising confirmation; a scholarly work entitled, “A General Definition of Ring Puckering Coordinates.” Not all of this tome lends itself to layman’s translation but an abridged version suggests – an unstable sharp object in subsonic flight, enhanced by a “wobble” in the Z-Axis, would cause my “ring” to pucker uncontrollably.

Methinks the advertising geniuses at Sage have to learn from the Cocaine energy drink flap, they can expect a call from both WalMart and Ralph Nader.

The Lessons of Fips-Mouche

FIPS Mouche LogoFor them as don’t know, the stalwart lads from the USA that participated in the 27th Annual Fly Fishing World Championships finished sixth overall, a pleasant uptick from years past, with teams from 22 countries participating.

It’s obvious what’s needed, armed with all that tackle, talent, and verve,  conspicuously absent was the lack of any nicknames for our guys. This is professional sports dammit, there has to be a guy named “Tank” or “Booger” in order for any team to be taken seriously!

Imitation of the Eurotrash contingent puts us years behind, and as they’ll testify, our only real contribution to Western Culture has been boorish manners and Sourmash whiskey. It’s time we give his Lordship a wakeup call, as this is a multi-venue, multi-day event, there is ample opportunity for Boom boxes, beercans, and a few thrown elbows.

We’ll see how the French do when their fillings start to rattle…