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One day the grocery lady will fix you with that steely gaze »

The comment echoed as if it were yesterday. My buddy and I frozen in appreciation of the measured stride of some long-legged vision negotiating the corner crosswalk. We’re doing our best not to stare, yet as the thoroughbred approaches we realize she’s still in high school…
… which didn’t slow us down much, but we knew [...]

Your Honor, a poor knot doesn’t imply premeditation »

As a really tasty “pain and suffering” verdict could be in excess of twenty million, now’s the time to look hard at your legal staff.
I’ll be sprawled amidst all that oak and cow leather sending another smoke ring towards the ceiling fan, while the earnest young chap insists he’s onboard … he’s got the [...]

The Director turns to you and asks, “fluorocarbon or regular Mono?” »

Most of you missed the most important Oscar of the evening. It wasn’t Best Picture or Best Plastic Surgeon, rather it was the Oscar for Most Lifelike Portrayal of an Inanimate Object by an Out of Work Angler…
Somewhere between your groggily becoming aware of the festivities and the consumption of night before last’s leftovers, some [...]

We put the Junk in Junk Food – a Superbowl photo journal »

A Saturday scout in between rain showers. The Little Stinking, swollen and defiant… Bagged it in preference to assembling an artery hardening ensemble of deep fried, coagulated, and partially hydrogenated Superbowl chow.

It was the Czech’s against the Slovak’s at my place – and the first quarter featured Strawberry Yogurt Pretzels and  …

… [...]

They rattle around in the box when startled »

It didn’t work back in the Sixties, when J. Edgar and his G-Men encouraged academics to rename the lowly “Egbert Carp” to “Grass Carp” as it’s known today.
The conservatives figured it would end the Hippy movement, with the participants lulled into toking away on a bowl of fish spleen …
… it didn’t work too [...]

50 Years of Science fiction ruined by a single biologist »

Those giddy days of Halloween television,  Ma insisted you were too young to watch a pissed humanoid water breather slime its way through the streets preying on the unwary, dragging screaming female teens into the cold bosom of a nearby bay …
… there to perform unimaginable and completely horrific unknown rituals on their taut … flesh [...]

Nothing like having a chalkstream in your backyard »

The ringtone belonged to “Deep Walnut”, the Yolo county landowner I’d turned to the side of righteousness. The pleasantries were brief, and I was informed that the annual “crop report” outlining the sins of watery tomatoes had been secreted on the grounds of my residence.
Sure it’s a touch over the top, but in a [...]

A most flagrant violation of a fly fishing reserved word »

Most would agree that Nike has always been a poster child for cutting edge marketing coupled with a flair for picking the proper spokesman.
Michael Jordan is an empire unto himself, and while Tiger Woods is no slouch, the “Just Do It” mantra might have touched a nerve …
Nike’s mistake was using one of fly [...]

The “woodsy” self versus the thin veneer of civilization »

Last night was a flurry of pots and pans, screaming cooks with blistered fingers, slopped sugary icing, and my complete abandonment of the angling world.
This time of year similar scenes are playing out in kitchens everywhere – and most anglers are smart enough to make themselves scarce, go fishing, or nurse barked knuckles after [...]

Red with Beef, White with Fish, Ripple with a Twinkie »

It’s the spark that ignited open warfare in my household. Pots and Pans hurled with much force and even greater accuracy – while I backpedal giving the kitchen door a couple of measured three second bursts …
I always figured our relationship would end bloody. She’d discover her favorite dish towels dyed florescent Puce, wadded [...]

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