Intercede early enough, and we can get them precious eco-votes for the price of couple of thrown rocks and a cold coke

It’s the trip every guide fears and every father dreads; how to introduce Poppa’s lifelong love to his progeny,  in a way that results in beaming children that gaze at their father in complete adoration …

… add the pressure of yesterday’s post, where at this young age we can BUY precious eco-votes for the price of a single candy bar or cold coke, and the even the most optimistic parent begins to blanch …

I call it the “15 minute rule” – add the ages of all the participants and divide by their number and you get the number of minutes you can fish without complaint.

Watch as I use my jovial fat guy powers to undo all that stern tutelage about not talking to strangers, and undermine their natural shyness around strange adults. Cringe as I swear like a sailor, and find gross things for kids to throw at their brother – while I show a couple of potential fly fishermen where “Eewww” grows, and how much fun you can have doing things your Ma would have a fit over …

My client, Garrat

Failure isn’t an option anymore, we have to package a time honored snooty old profession into something that rivals a massively multiplayer online pseudo-reality.

Which is yet another reason to celebrate warm water and the appetites of coarse fish, most of which are willing to bite anyone or anything that comes within range, and will hurl themselves at a bit of wrapped flash with a fluffy tail and a come-hither action.

Above is my client, Garrett who thought a fly and bubble pretty lame, the spinning rod and Rooster Tail not much better, and insisted on the fly rod and measured retrieve just like his Pop and older bro, below …

Kelvin and his son, Bradley

… and while he attempted to remain good natured about double skunking his older bro and his poppa, his cool handling of the voracious Brackish water Barracuda (aka Sacramento Pikeminnow), revealed his outdoors nature in the face of mano y mano encounter with a known man eater.

Actually, it was all those parental lectures on respect for elders that allows me to assist a young fellow thrust into unfamiliar and odious surroundings.

He assumes everything I say and do is gospel, and everything Dad says and does can be ignored. That gives me the upper hand in reminding Dumpling he should keep his rod tip low so he can feel the slightest nibble …

momz

Rocks_at_cars

… especially when we get to throw rocks at cars – which makes enormous metallic smack noises and with Pop urging us to further mayhem and to get wet, which is foreign to anything we’ve ever believed about adults – none of which know how to have fun as they never throw rocks at anything …

Which provides just the type of break from fishing so that we can drink Gatorade and eat “fart bars” and relax in the shade – and then try fishing some more on the way back …

Proud Poppa's smile says it all

… where both proceed to cast their own rods, hook and land their own fish, and the smile on a proud poppa’s face is a mix of relief and outright fun, suggesting the scene to be repeated many times over.

Eco-votes, baby – go get you some…

8 thoughts on “Intercede early enough, and we can get them precious eco-votes for the price of couple of thrown rocks and a cold coke”

  1. Way cool intervention! A little older and it wouldn’t have been as much fun. Don’t forget that there will be a time from just around puberty until the mid 20s when all this may count for nought.

  2. Awesome read! Keep it up,KB, you could have a pack of minions at your beck and call….Besides,what can be more fun than tossing rocks at junky cars at that age…..I liked it…

  3. Excellent lesson. Especially when my kids are the main characters with the hope the “scene will be repeated many times over” and as it was with my Dad.

  4. A great story delivered in a hail of river stones. And “Pop” looked both comfortable and stylish in his Coldstream Outfitters G-10 fly fishing vest. A vest designed to make every owner perform well in America’s capitalist swamps and backwaters.

  5. … at least you were able to get in a plug, but why isn’t it, ” The Coldstream Outfitters G-10 vest, the preferred armor of millions of screaming rock throwing hellions!”

  6. @sully – Good Man? No, I’m just being vindictive, “Dad” outfished me the last couple of trips to Manzanita Lake, I’m just making sure he gets hit for two college educations and a brace of $750 graphite rod requests …

    “Dad, can I borrow $800 for new waders?”

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