Monthly Archives: October 2009

Why we’re never consulted on game design

I’ve got more than my fair share of hideous vices but gambling hasn’t been one of them…

… actually I should retract that, as fishermen are among the most egregious gamblers known, we risk time, money, and domestic bliss on every throw of the rod.

it was the fly that caught my attention

It was the fly that caught my attention. A small blurb about the launch of three new online slot games, and while the fishing theme struck a chord I still couldn’t figure how it would translate to the degenerate gambling crowd.

When the fisherman appears on reels 1 and 5 at the same time, the Fly Fishing Bonus begins. During this bonus game, you’ll be able to choose 5 fish from the river in front of you. The fish have multiplier prizes ranging from 2X to 15X.

I guess they figure fly fishing was such a sure thing that you just point at the fish and they swim to your feet, light the charcoal and fillet themselves …

The game designer is obviously a genius with zero’s and one’s – but he’s never fished in his (or her) life. We know the reality:

… When the fisherman appears on reels 1 and 5 at the same time, the Fly Fishing Bonus begins. During this bonus game, you’ll insert 15 more coins, resulting in a blast of arctic air from the console, and a small spigot will appear waist high and pizzle icy water down your pants leg.

You’ll be able to see 5 fish from the river in front of you, three will be too deep, one will be out of casting range, and the last one – the largest, will simply ignore you.

Not likely to set any casino records for coin inhalation – what with a bunch of guys holding newspapers on their lap so the waitress doesn’t see the spreading dampness.

… not to mention her asking for ID every time she brings a watered down drink.

Tags: online casino, fly fishing game, Alaska fishing, degenerate gamblers, degenerate fishermen, fly fishing for money, vices, gambling fishermen

Did that Mayfly just wing past hawking Taco Bell?

A German company unleashes tiny winged advertising on conventioneers, is this a portend of what fly shops will be springing on us come Opening Day?

 

The exploitation of farmed mayflies, each dancing about with a gaily colored banner, “A #16 Royal Wulff would’ve caught that fish, now on sale at Big 5.”

Bug activity has always been a welcome sight, but with insects outnumbering humans will we still think that way after a couple regiments of Taco Bell Hexagenia?

Tags: winged advertising, Taco Bell, Hexagenia, Royal Wulff

How to jumpstart a legend

It’s Life’s Darkest Moment. All them hours painstakingly crafting a weekend trip to a trophy lake known only to a handful of trustworthy associates who aren’t, and its azure beauty has been despoiled by hordes of fly fishermen from some club somewheres …

Normally you don’t mind sharing, but those thousands of pre-trip hours spent daydreaming in your cubicle sold you on solitude, voracious fish, and the entire wilderness experience.

Not to worry.

Singlebarbed's Farce FinsAct nonchalant as you change out your fins for the Singlebarbed’s “Farce Fins.” Paddle through their fish and once all eyes are focused on you, lift a foot out of the water, scream – and beat a trail of froth back to the beach.

A squeeze bottle of Ketchup tucked in the bib of your waders completes the effect.

While you sob on the sand, to the consternation of the assembled throng and their apprehensive spouses, produce some frayed object and claim it’s a bite mark from a hideous gigantic beast that thought you were a food group.

Skeptics will be pulled from the water by their wives, no need to be too convincing, just remember to gasp Loch Ness rather than Elliot Ness ..

Tags: Float tube, Loch Ness, Elliot Ness, Mermaid fins, fly fishing stillwater, Ketchup, life’s darkest moment

Will smart gadgets be as fashionable if they’re honest?

Maxwell Smart, Gadget Freak You can only wrap graphite or mount cork on a cylinder in so many ways. Once you’ve run through the gamut of blank colors, off setting trim, and hook keepers, why not mimic Microsoft and start adding stuff no one asked for?

Especially now that all the gadgets will be getting smart …

Wi-Fi Direct will make it easier to liberate the mounting gigabytes of digital family photos that are trapped in cameras, smart phones or PCs. Now those gadgets will be able to connect directly to digital photo frames, TVs or printers.

Add Twitter into the mix and every hooked fish, tree limb, and extremity can be immortalized in a vast stream of consciousness guaranteed to have the folks at home blowing snot bubbles.

Temp 54F. Wind SE 10 mph. Tree contact. Rock. Elevated angler blood pressure. Fish miss – estimate 4”. Vertical attitude adjustment. Sensor submerged. submerged. lateral drift. Angler vocal …photograph taken, posted to Facebook…

Back at the office, we’ll be undressed in mid pantomime – while insisting the fish was 18” long and fought for hours, when everyone’s already seen our Facebook page and listened to us swearing over the Twitter feed.

Rod companies can imbed cameras, sensors, weights and measurement, dispense fly floatant or insect repellant from the rod handle, and record it all for posterity – uploading it to the Internet as soon as we get within cell coverage.

Fly fishermen and the gadget obsession is the stuff of legend, but without complete control over content and censorship, we’d never ask for a “smart” rod that made an accurate record of our outing.

… leaving the rod companies to insist we need it, that it’s lighter than air, and spin our skepticism into something we think necessary and vital.

With a memory stick tucked in the vest and device-to-device communication we could store thousands of images and sensory data that would be embarrassing to us – yet a boon to science. We’re willing to abandon felt soles for the Greater Good, why not embrace honesty for an even greater fisheries reward?

… until that fellow up-riffle sidles closer, hacks into our data and starts downloading all the flies we’ve tried and their result. The canny angler will have his “master caution” light start to blink at first intrusion so he can grab a smart rock and …

Tags: Wifi Direct, fly fishing gadgets, facebook, twitter, Internet, smart rods, graphite, fly floatant, fisheries

A Pale Shadow of a Man, the rise of the PIRM and his quest for outdoor supremacy

Metrosexuality and the rise of the PIRM Science claims you’re all pansies.

The “Post-Industrial Revolution Male”, whose big mouth, failing testosterone levels, and receding hairline mask a flaccid imitation of pre-Industrial Man. The surge of adrenalin that served us so well outrunning Sabertooth tigers, has dwindled to a sputtering trickle reserved for the driver ahead whose signal to merge has offended you mightily.

“…humans have lost 40 percent of the shafts of the long bones because they are no longer subjected to the kind of muscular loads that were normal before the industrial revolution.”

… implying a Cro-Magnon Steve Rajeff could have thrown his fly rod 236 feet impaling an unwary Impala through the eye … The same grain-fed post-Industrial version throws only the line a similar distance, kills nothing, and we’re awestruck.

Twenty thousand years ago six male Australian Aborigines chasing prey left footprints in a muddy lake shore that became fossilized. Analysis of the footprints shows one of them was running at 37 kph (23 mph), only 5 kph slower than Usain Bolt was traveling at when he ran the 100 meters in world record time of 9.69 seconds in Beijing last year. But Bolt had been the recipient of modern training, and had the benefits of spiked running shoes and a rubberized track, whereas the Aboriginal man was running barefoot in soft mud. Given the modern conditions, the man, dubbed T8, could have reached speeds of 45 kph, according to McAllister.

They were bigger, meaner, built from “whang” leather, and could run across the Savannah without pausing for drive thru’s or using Google Maps, surviving on warm pond water and a handful of jerked meat.

… which is the lecture every son receives from his Poppa when he reminisces of his generation and hardships .. It’s committed to memory, we endured it each time we asked for money or car keys.

The photographs showed Tutsi initiation ceremonies in which young men had to jump their own height in order to be accepted as men. Some of them jumped as high as 2.52 meters, which is higher than the current world record of 2.45 meters.

But real stress wasn’t associated with outrunning a dinosaur, it appears avoiding matrimony may have been just as strenuous …

“…women of the extinct hominids such as the Neanderthals carried around 10 percent more muscle than modern European men, and with training could have reached 90 percent of the bulk of Arnold Schwarzenegger at his physical prime. Her shorter lower arm would have given her a great advantage in an arm wrestle, and she could easily have slammed his arm to the table.”

Which is the reason that aborigine was doing “45 in a 25.” It’s plain that our paternal ancestors organized early, initiating some type of selective breeding and evolution has given us an additional nudge. Women have necks, smell sweeter than we do, and I’ve not surrendered the remote from my nerveless, flaccid grip in weeks.

Tags: post-Industrial Man, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neanderthal matrimony, Steve Rajeff, aborigine,

That 70’s cloth none of us admit to wearing? That shortened your life too

Darth Polyester

I figure it was some great sin in a past life – nothing newsworthy or famous, just some callous Lothario that fleeced spinsters of their birthright, some real estate wunderkind that unloaded worthless railroad right-of-way by foreclosing on widows and orphans.

Others have a knack for useful things like plumbing or electrical wiring, own a house full of beaming children and spend most of their time basking in the adoring gaze of their spouse.

Me, I wallow in toxins.

I smile as girlfriend backs out of the garage, giving “thumbs up” while waving the list of “honey-do’s” – and as soon as she’s upwind I’m adding a dab of this to a dollop of that, all of which have skulls and crossbones on the label.

… all of which say, “empty into your sink when finished.”

The sport may be “green” but its components are pure death.

With strong winds in the area and “Momma” elsewhere, it was time to explore polyester and the disperse dyes needed to give it lasting color. Synthetics can be made from thousands of polymers, many of the items we use can be derivatives of nylon, polyester, rayon, or even a component of a natural material like viscose, comprised of plant or wood fiber.

All we see is “shiny” or “sparkly” and rarely delve further than shelling out the money for a nickel bag.

The nice folks that make the raw Soft Crimp Angelina material had sent me the Holy Grail of their “doll hair” fiber, a material data sheet that outlined the temperatures the fiber melts at, the temp the fiber loses its iridescence, and similar data that would allow me to dye their product without torching too many Ben Franklin’s …

Many of you have asked about the material, which is unavailable anywhere except in tiny little packets labeled, “Ice Dub.” I use it in raw form in countless flies and dubbing blends, but have shied away from coloring it because polyester requires caustic chemicals and plenty of heat.

Tasty Peacock Green  … not to mention the fumes, which is the Shit are pervasive and great odiferous. A well ventilated environment is needed so you can get the entire neighborhood lit and as kitchen cabinets, countertops, and flooring may be unknown material (may contain polyester) you can’t afford to drip the stuff on anything other than porcelain or stainless steel.

Skin is no problem. You could dip your head in it and brush your teeth, and after a couple whiffs you’ll want to …

Pro Chemical & Dye has dyes for every type of fiber you’ll encounter. With only 12 colors available for polyester you’ll need to learn the artist’s color wheel and how to construct complex colors from their components.

Example: Olive, a complex color made of equal parts yellow and green, with 1/2 a part of dark grey or black. Add yellow to make it a “warm” olive, and more green to make it a “cold” olive, and add more black to make it a dark olive (either warm or cold). For the below colors I used equal parts Kelly green and Buttercup yellow, and a half part of Cool Black (Pro Chemical & Dye colors). Using Buttercup versus the Bright Yellow means I’ll err on the side of a warm Olive.

As I’ve had experience in dyeing colors and building shades and tints using their components, my goal was to build a color that resembles a Peacock herl or eye. The iridescence was the easy part – it was built right into the Aurora Soft Crimp Angelina, which has motes of bronze, green, and gold.

Peacock is a double complex color as it would be described as green, olive, dark green, bright green, or bronze, depending on the location of the herl and the genetics of the bird itself.

You can’t dye material “peacock” – instead you dye three or four colors around it and blend them to make the final coloration. This is much easier than it sounds as dye baths will alter shades and color depending on the amount of time the material is left soaking.

Three shades, one dye bath

Here is the damp material after 3 minutes (left), 6 minutes (top), and 9 minutes (bottom). One dye bath to color all three shades, only immersion time differs.

Blended Angelina under Morning light

Here’s the final blended color seen under morning light. You can pick out the lighter tints and darkened fibers in the aggregate mass – and I still have the three other shades should I want to alter it further. I used the same formula when blending the result; one part green, one part darker olive, half a part of the darkest shade.

Used on a leech

The above shows the mixture used on a traditional leech pattern, note how the florescent light makes the material much more green than the prior photo shot outdoors. Florescent is a “white” light – not blue tinted as is normal sunlight, it always lightens colors by one or more shades.

#14 Zug Bug

I always hated tying Zug Bugs as the peacock has difficulty hiding the bulge of lead wire underneath – plus its fragility. Above is a #14 Zug Bug tied with the blended color, note how the slip of mallard lies flat on the back (as it should). The finer filament coupled with the ability to build the proper taper with dubbing gives much more control over the fly than wound herl, and the durability is increased at the same time.

That's no "dime" bag

I still need a great deal more practice with these new dyes but once I’ve built the formula for colors and immersion times, I’ll be able to reproduce these with reasonable surety. Returning the material to its dry and fluffy state is also quite problematic as I’m still un-matting the fibers by hand.

Knowing my “stay of execution” is limited – I’m hustling the dye pot outside as soon as each color is achieved, there to cool down while fumes exit the house. The ceramic disk attached to the storm drain stares at me accusingly – a large fish with the entreaty, “this empties directly into the river.”

I considered the crime briefly, but opted for the squirrel burrow in the backyard. While the label says it’s safe I’d rather be entertained by a florescent Orange squirrel staggering out of his burrow on unsteady legs.

The kids next door trundle up to investigate and I’m unaware until the little blond angel wrinkles her nose and says, “oOo, what’s that smell?”

They’re peering into the algae colored water with the shiny bits of debris  – and I’m croaking out my best sinister through the rebreather, “ .. in the cauldron boil and bake, eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of your dog …”

… they screamed appreciatively all the way back to the house. Ma came out to make sure all was well – and fixed me with the obligatory “you are so bad” look as soon as chubby fingers pointed in my direction.

It means visitors next Saturday night requiring a double fistful of Snickers to pay for my sins.

Tags: Peacock, Ice Dub, Soft Crimp Angelina, Pro Chemical & Dye, polyester, disperse dyes, Halloween, little blond angel, toxic chemicals, Leech, Zug Bug, fly tying materials, fly tying

Tying the Lead Winged Pump Action

When queried about his Guinness Book of World Record attempt for most fish caught while chugging a ‘40’ “, Bob “Gutslammer” Muldoon grinned disarmingly and said, “it was like shooting fish in a barrel.”

Lead Winged Pump Action

“I used a favorite ‘Lead Winged Pump Action’ in size ‘double ought…’ presentation is everything, unless they’re drilled dead center you can’t claim it’s Organic.”

Lead in your Sushi

Now I’ve got to worry about Mercury and lead in my Sushi. I don’t think I’ll chew with as much authority as I once did – what with old Bob dispensing justice the way he does …

Tags: Organic Tuna, fish in a barrel, belt fed, Charlie buys it, things you can’t un-see

The Prodigal Son Returned, Partridge of Redditch

Partridge Bartleet Single Salmon, from the Good Old Days Recent developments in Europe has the Partridge Hook company returning to UK ownership. Purchased by Fishing Matters, manufacturers of the Varivas and Order hooks.

We can only hope for a return to the esoteric greatness of the past, as Partridge was the last of the large Redditch manufacturers, whose stable of wonderfully individual hooks defied the mainstream for many years.

Press release to follow:

Partridge of Redditch, one of the oldest established fish hook brands, has been sold by O. Mustad & Son to UK company Fishing Matters. After negotiations dating back to May this year, Fishing Matters owner Mark Hamnett confirmed to Angling International that he took possession of Partridge this week.

Hamnett established his company in 2005 and counts Varivas and Owner among a prestigious client list.

“We have grown up very quickly,” he said. “The acquisition of Partridge is a significant leap for us and will increase our revenue four-fold.“We are extremely pleased to have one of the leading hook brands in the world under our ownership. It fits extremely well with our portfolio.“This acquisition takes us from importer/distributor to global brand owner and gives us a critical mass with which to develop the company. We will be focusing on hooks for the foreseeable future. We want to develop and consolidate Partridge as a premium brand.”

The sale of Partridge brings to an end 13 years of Mustad ownership. Ole Bjerke was Managing Director of Partridge for ten years in the UK and continued to manage the brand when he relocated to France in 2006. Bjerke, now Vice President, Portfolio Management and Marketing, led the negotiations for Mustad and spoke to Angling International shortly after the deal had been concluded to explain the decision.

“Mustad’s strategy is to focus on its core brands and after much consideration we decided that it would be better for the Partridge brand if it were in someone else’s hands.“We subsequently talked to a number of interested parties and are very happy to have reached agreement with Mark. He has done a very good job with his brands. He is committed, enthusiastic and he delivers. The deal is very positive for Partridge.“

Tags: Varivas, Fishing Matters, Partridge of Redditch, O. Mustad & Sons, Mark Hamnett, Angling International,

Welcome to the Brood Stock

Lies, Damn Lies, and Fishermen Fishing statistics are so rare I can’t help but pounce on them when offered. Like most pitchmen I’ll spin the numbers to prove something horrific and discard the facts enroute to a shaky conclusion.

This time it’s the Recreational Boating & Fishing Foundation (RBFF) and the American Sportfishing Association (ASA) who’ve commissioned Southwick Associates to reveal that despite the poor economy, sport fishing license sales are on the rise.

As of September 1, 2009, state fish and wildlife agencies reported a 7.7 percent positive change in the number of licenses sold year-to-date compared to the same months last year (January – July 2009 vs. January – July 2008).
The same states also saw a seven percent increase in the number of licenses sold in July 2009 compared with July 2008.
  

I’ll take the dim view of the above increase. Two factors come to mind; most of the Atlantic seaboard is now required to buy a license to fish from shore (new this year) – and the rest may be economics, fish are “free food” and other parts of the world have had a similar boost in rookie fishermen.

… and there was more about us fly fishing types. We’re white college graduates older than 45, make $100,000 a year, and male. We fish five times a year less than other types of fishermen – and are obsessed with meeting a female fly fisherperson that doesn’t exist.

There was no information as to whether we’re underwater on our mortgage or the financial health of our imaginary dream date. Per capita there are more fly fishermen in the West (especially the West Coast) – so if you’re looking for love the East Coast is strictly “bro-mance” turf.

Fly fishing statistics

We’re also growing fewer in number. Which could be explained by our discovery that everyone else spends $167 a year in tackle, and we spend ten times that and fish less…

The Good News is there are 146 million kids under the age of 18 playing fly fishing games on Nintendo and Wii. Unfortunately the game is flung aside after four minutes.

Face it, we’re the Brood Stock … and that ain’t saying much.

Tags: Lies, damn lies, and statistics, angling trends, recession based economic pressure, catch and kill, fish as “free” food, Southwick Associates, Recreational Boating & Fishing Foundation, American Sportfishing Association, brood stock