Fly fishing has countless taboos and minor demons, accidentally trodding upon the grave can be overlooked, but violating the unspeakable sins warrants banishment and shunning …

As unkempt appearance and questionable hygiene draws me ever closer to that event horizon, a pocketful of permanent markers shouldn’t damage my stature much – even if the rest of the brethren start with the pitchforks and torches.

Considering all the glitter and effluvia I’m throwing around the living room while tying shad flies, and with the question of this season’s “must have” color not yet established, why wouldn’t the agile angler tie everything in white – then crack out the felt pens as needed?

There … I’ve said it.

Chemical based fly tying is long overdue. We’ve allowed dyed materials only because we kilt all the natural colored wild stuff, and with countless colors available, including bleaches and tie-dye effects, why wouldn’t we unleash some technology at this last bastion of the recalcitrant?

Fly shops have a longstanding cartel on patterns and variants, relying on our voodoo-luck based superstition to ensure they sell both Hendrickson’s and Dark Cahill’s, despite an Adam’s laying considerable smack on both those aged tarts.

Shad flies are horribly simple, tail, beadchain, and something that connects the two – a handful of fluorescent markers could be exactly what’s needed.

If the “hot” fly is orange, an interior pocket stuffed with Sharpies produces a fix to the glaring vacancy in your arsenal, and if purple – simply color over the orange flies used earlier. As long as your progression went from light to dark you could color over the flies multiple times like unwanted tattoos.

As there’s only about four possibilities each year; pink, orange, green, and shiny, 75% of the fishermen would benefit, leaving only the fellows that guessed right to get pissed.

Burn up last season’s aging colors by restoring the lost art of “tagging” – defacing bridge abutments, parked cars, and sleeping anglers. It’d be refreshing to trod under the highway bridge and glance up to see something other than misspelled bile.