Brownliner decor makes you recession proof?

I probably should’ve held off until next week to give it that “lived-in” look; coffee spills, discarded beer bottles, Simm’s pinups, and greasy wrappers from lunch – but I was too giddy to play coy.

The “before” is eloquence for us muddy cubicle warriors, yellow caution tape accent, paramilitary camo wall coverings, and the piece de resistance – a digital calendar that displays date and time in hexadecimal.

What’s not shown is the matching camo smock rendering the wearer invisible, proof against Boss’s that dole out a weekend assignment on a sunny Friday, and causes the lurking “Candy Dish Phantom” to crap himself as he reaches for your lunch – or the occasional leftover donut…

In the lofty echelons of the corporate world it’s important to announce yourself with authority. Fancy suits and expensive aftershave are as commonplace as McDonald’s – and when management strides the corridor looking for slackers to meet their downsize quota, you’ll be the last to go – as the hushed whispers of the Personnel analyst concur, “there’s gotta be an assault rifle in there somewhere’s.”