They’ll wish they had it, but they’ve got to trod crap to get it
By KBarton10 on Apr 18, 2009 in Brownlining, humor
Brownlining is so much more than a cheesy car decal or embossed ashtray. Singlebarbed readers can enhance their stature both instream and off with the addition of the “Chest” inflatable wading aid.
A misstep in our fetid world is always life threatening, a simple pull of the imbedded necklace inflates into a snug neck shield, with ample buoyancy to keep both head and mouth above the syrup.
Slip the Chest under your shirt, relax a couple of buttons and bask in the envious and hateful stares of your Blueline opponents.
The silk screened pectorals accented deftly via gold chain, offers a demure male enhancement, adding credibility to the retelling of heroic deeds, and lending the owner “presence” in all important social venues.
James Marsh | Apr 18, 2009 | Reply
I know gold is over $1000 an ounce but surely you could provide a better chain than that. One panic jerk and your Kmart necklace would break and I would drown. Don’t know about the curly hair chest either. One more hunch and your model would have been born an ape.
KBarton10 | Apr 18, 2009 | Reply
It’s a pretty fair “whoopie cushion” if the fish aren’t biting…
Igneous Rock | Apr 18, 2009 | Reply
If you turn it around, It will look suprisingly like that Pikeminnow photo you showed us last week! And tell james You don’t drown in Brownwater; you’re consumed.
Doug | Apr 19, 2009 | Reply
Does it come hairless pasty white? Or with a “Mom” tatoo?
KBarton10 | Apr 19, 2009 | Reply
No pasty white available – one misstep in my creek and “pasty white” vanishes with a single dunking (along with your eyebrows and chest hair). It’s like a henna tattoo only forever.
Yomama | Apr 19, 2009 | Reply
I fear the Little Stinking may be getting an unnecessarily bad rap. Although it may change color, texture, composition and odor frequently, unless it periodically catches fire – as the Cuyahoga River of Ohio has been doing since the 1800s – it should be considered user-friendly, if not practically a “wild” watercourse for the out-of-car-doorsman. This sort of socialist-leaning PR cannot be helpful for such essential California entities as Con Agra, Cargill and ADM. Just sayin’…