Mix Blue and Brown and it still winds up Muddy

Oh, Dear! The Sacramento Bee reports that to maintain my Brownline status, I’ll have to move.

Tom Chandler over at the Trout Underground and Roughfisher are likely to accuse me of “selling out” – backed by numerous posts on how they didn’t like me anyways. Once they find out my beloved Little Stinking is being bandied about in the legislature to achieve “Wild and Scenic” river status, it’ll sort my pals from the camp followers …

It shows the steep decline in California waterways … we’re going to consecrate mud puddles next.

I can personally vouch for the wild and scenic thing; short of a bawdy house – it’s all floated by me, ricocheted off a nearby rock, or colored the air with decay, and I doubt I’ll be truly surprised by anything other than a tour guide pointing me out as the Old Man of the Sea-wage.

I did effluent before effluent was cool … and the stuff you’re wading in? Tame compared to what I used to walk through, why I remember back in .. ought 7, when …”

Maybe if I practice enough the nature crowd will toss me quarters, or slivers of sardine.

The unbreakable bond with my readership can withstand any hardship, now that they know I’ve been unknowingly victimized.

Perhaps after I donate my vast collection of graphite rods as freebie contest prizes, a few stalwarts might remain – I’ll need assistance on my conversion to bamboo rods and dry fly only, upstream presentation.

Actually, nothing’s changed. The headwaters of the Little Stinking have been nominated as has many hundreds of thousands of acres adjoining. There are already two wilderness areas designated along its path, and it appears a great deal of real estate upstream of me is included.

There may be a small silver lining, but the agribusiness of the lower river is sure to fight restrictions tooth and nail, perhaps they’ll no longer be allowed to direct their raw effluent into the drainage – or maybe they’ll let a little water through during the summer to simulate a permanent flow.

Then again – it may get new restrictions that prevent me from fishing it. Upstream counties close the Little Stinking along with normal trout season, only the effluent rich county I live in allows year round angling.

… and Tom, Slaw Dogs are a crime against humanity, not a suitable mascot for a “muddy” blog.

10 thoughts on “Mix Blue and Brown and it still winds up Muddy”

  1. I knew it! I knew it! It’s all these kiss and tell articles you’ve been writing. You’ve ruined it for everyone! Thanks alot.

  2. K – If that TUWN dude revokes your Certified Brownliner status, we’ll have you over here. We’ve got plenty of e. coli laden water running right through town, and it smells bad too (particularly right near the Commerce City water reclamation plant). The same spot is chock full of beasts who love the chemical-refined and oxygen-depleted world you thrive in.

    As a bonus, we have trout too, although you’d have to drive far away for that (as well as retrain Roughfisher to be more Salmonid-correct in his communications).

  3. Kbarton: It’s not so much that the Underground dislikes you as much as we’re afraid to get downwind. Still, it had to happen – every revolution eventually becomes mainstream, and no doubt you’re already on somebody’s dole – perhaps seeking the blueliner “Riverkeeper” title for the Lil’ Stinking.

  4. Riverkeeper has a nicer ring to it than “Pimp” – perhaps there’s more to this Blueline thing than ironed jodhpurs and a monocle..

    …until then – I’ll take Michael Gracie up on his kind offer, I bet he lets me sleep in his garage, rent free.

  5. O.K. I’ll admit it…it was I that requested the upgraded environmental protection and preservation status for the lower stretch of the Lil’ Stinking.

    We are just damn tired of all your discarded cheap cigar butts floating downstream and alighting on our creek bank.

    And whatever it is, the toxic remains of your lunch snacks that make it down to our streamside estate are making the dog ill.

    It’s not the Wilderness or Wild and Scenic designation we seek.

    We are just trying to clean up the neighborhood.

  6. @Rough – Of course I did, monsignieur – very noble of you to promote the ‘charity’. PS: what a looker that Salmonidae is.

    @K – the garage is full of crap – you get the couch. You can tie a fine streamer for me each time you want to use the kitchen. The heat is free, but the bacon-swiss buffalo burgers (we don’t need no stinkin’ slaw dogs ’round here) are not.

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