My nomination for the Angling Hall of Fame, and he doesn’t even fish
By KBarton10 on Oct 1, 2008 in Fly Fishing, humor
It was one of those “Casper Milquetoast” guys, flinging me a magazine across the break room, “You fish, eat Salmon, lose weight.”
I swallowed the urge to squeeze his head until he screamed, figuring I’d get in trouble - and as he beat a pale skinned and hasty retreat, I glanced at the article in question…
It may be divine inspiration, but the deity gifting me is below ground, not above…
Even Oprah has sung the praises of this pink-orange fish on her talk show. What’s the reason for the popularity of the so-called salmon diet? Simple: it works.
Almost every couple has at least one member seeking miracle weight loss, and many consider Oprah to be as great a scientist as Sir Isaac Newton or Stephen Hawking…
Make salmon (or other fatty fish) a regular part of your meal plan. Aim to have fish about 10 times per week, whether in the form of a morning omelet, a lunchtime salad, or a dinnertime fish filet.
Consider the volume of fish necessary for 10 meals a week, and the exhausting effort you’ll have to put forth to provide a steady stream of fresh fish to the premises. Like canned vegetables, store-bought fish are minus all those important vitamins due to freezing and pasteurization …
(wink.) Which means you’ll have to go fishing to catch more. (wink.)
Hell, you might be forced to ignore the lawn, skip the visit from the in-laws, and forswear your afternoon nap.
Heavy, painful, sigh.
I’d salt the premises with unobtrusive yet strategically placed salmon-diet clippings, that way you can’t be accused of leading the mark witness.
I tried it at my house and it worked perfectly, hopefully my girlfriend gets back from fishing soon, I’m almost out of Salmon ..
oatka | Oct 1, 2008 | Reply
“Hell, you might be forced to ignore the lawn, skip the visit from the in-laws, and forswear your afternoon nap.”
I don’t fish enough, but I still make sure I have plenty of time to ignore the lawn. Heck, I even loaned my mower to my neighbor and this has helped me ignore the lawn even better!
I hope the girlfriend comes home soon! If not, send out another one!
SMJ | Oct 1, 2008 | Reply
I glanced at the so-called “Face Lift” diet, and nowhere does it mention beer. Not breakfast. Not lunch. Not before bedtime snack. The guy is obviously a quack.
rdt | Oct 1, 2008 | Reply
Boone & Crocket sized Pikeminnows should be high on the miracle weight loss list. The Rogue has become a great blueliner pikeminnow producer. Come up and give it a go. Bring rWb along.
KBarton10 | Oct 1, 2008 | Reply
SMJ: A quack that gets me the blessing of SWMBO is a messiah in my book.
Troon: RwB is having none of this brownliner fad, but if your vineyard was in peril, I might get him off the couch. Maybe.
Jean-Paul Lipton | Oct 1, 2008 | Reply
How does it feel when your girlfriend walks in on you watching Oprah?
Let me know when you get your pair back….