I’m studying “Boarding Strategies of the Somali Pirates,” a handwritten tomb outlining seventeen ways to abduct a small freighter armed with harsh language and an AK-47.
No, I’m not some nutcase – I’m rising to the occasion – the Federal government has just released anti-terrorist guidelines for small boaters, and that’s us…
“…the Bush administration wants to enlist the country’s 80 million recreational boaters to help protect the country against a nuclear or radiological bomb.”
I’m prepared to roar up to any fellow peacefully anchored in some lake and demand to see his identity papers. It’s immaterial that he’s actually fishing where I want to … I’m a patriot, and he’s out of luck.
According to an April 23 intelligence assessment obtained by The Associated Press, “The use of a small boat as a weapon is likely to remain al-Qaida’s weapon of choice in the maritime environment, given its ease in arming and deploying, low cost, and record of success.”
A float tube and a rusty 12 gauge should allow me to prowl my favorite water with impunity. Any fellow with better tackle is suspicious, and if he catches more fish than me, he’s funded by a offshore terrorist cell. It’ll be a “shot across the bow” followed by Citizen’s Arrest and confiscation of anything chemical, longer than 8 feet, and made in England.
I’ll have to test for nerve agents back at the house, so he can forget about his sandwich and cooler, and as it’s a militia action, I can ignore the Geneva convention and drink his beer in front of him..
Technorati Tags: war on terror, small boat militia, somali pirates, sheesh

Rather than admit to a “tie-flying” gear fetish we’ll file it under, “Singlebarbed blows his cash and takes his lumps” category. Acting on a tip on one of the myriad angling forums, I did some research on surgical scissors available from the World’s Biggest Fly shop, eBay.



It’s a novel approach, the California Department of Fish and Game drove this year’s salmon smolts to San Pablo Bay bypassing their normal migration. It’s fitting, we take party boats and get seasick, it’s fair they get a little motion sickness compliments of stop and go traffic.
The only guys more wrapped up in fantasy than anglers are NFL Draft commentators. I see it as much ado about nothing, but Draft Day is the best fly tying theater imaginable.
There’s two kinds of sportsmen; them as love the outdoors and practice their craft often, and there’s them as does all that but has too much disposable income, and collects the trappings of bygone days…
With the whole “blogging angler” phenomenon on the rise, perhaps Simm’s may want to follow it’s “zipper front” guide waders with innovation liable to change the face of the fishing report.
It’s the best advice I’ve seen to date and based on our track record would work swimmingly, the downside is you’d have to develop a taste for Zebra Mussel Meatloaf, or Quagga Milkshake.
One million dollars for the inventor of the next great Fake Meat? I figured they ought to award some posthumously to the inventor of SPAM, and while they’re at it – something like a Nobel Prize for Culinary Bait & Switch for the scientists at Mickey Dees…

