When Orange Juice is worth a Hoffman Cape
By KBarton10 on Dec 4, 2007 in humor
“Madam” is expiring on her couch and I’m hustling about accommodating all the “last wishes” of the soon departed. No, it’s not serious – it’s that rarified moment that anglers leverage to the hilt.
The ailment is immaterial, the symptoms indescribable, the outcome pre-ordained; I’ll be forgiven for all sins and trespasses, score double the usual style points, and be just bulletproof enough to get into trouble again.
There’s something alluring about “a fast woman in germ’s way” – it’s good for at least five impromptu fishing trips (unannounced and on a moment’s notice), or one obscenely large charge on a VISA card.
I’m not the one dictating the compensation package, somewhere amid the throbbing sinus, the head full of snot, delivery of a glass of orange juice is worthy of a King’s ransom.
I’m just trying to help, yet the enfeebled muttering from the lump in the bed keeps promising things that would make Larry Flynt blush.
I was going to settle for a Hoffman saddle.
I wonder if they take as much delight in our suffering? Mom’s aren’t like us, but if it’s self inflicted, a sniffle caught while fishing, do they put the boots to us as well?
I have to go administer the Last Rights, anyone remember what comes after, “E. Pluribus Unum?”
Technorati Tags: ma’s sick, last will and testament, out of the doghouse
Taku | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
Taking advantage of “Madam” whilst she is under the weather? Yep, time to rack up the Spousal Credits. Pull out all the stops, think big, and by all means be kind. Ah, I think I detect a sniffle from the couch….
Curly | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
Alea iacta est.
Cum propris suis alis volat.
KBarton10 | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
Ad captamdum vulgus.
Ad astra per alia porci, Buckwheat!
KBarton10 | Dec 4, 2007 | Reply
Taku, I’m with you, the kind part especially. The problem with being the primary caregiver is that you’re one germy breath away from being bedridden yourself.
Got to tred lightly, and get that saddle enroute before the second-hand germs flatten me.
Curly | Dec 5, 2007 | Reply
Be well. And didn’t Steinbeck have a little clay figurine of that thing on his writing desk?
KBarton10 | Dec 5, 2007 | Reply
Yes he did, bonus points for you.
b mead | Dec 7, 2007 | Reply
KB, that is some fine writing. A humorist, you are! Can a book be far behind? Especially enjoyed the OJ piece. I have no idea where you are located but if you happen to stop in at a show I am tying at please
introduce yourself. Thanks for putting a chuckle in my day. ….Bob
KBarton10 | Dec 7, 2007 | Reply
I paid him to say that!
Home is California – thanks for the kind words.